Is your Romeo a remainer? Asking your date how they voted on BREXIT is the best way to identify shared personality traits and values, psychologists claim
- Experts were hunting for the best first date questions sing broad survey data
- They have put forward their top five questions to explore a person’s personality
- How dates voted in the referendum was top of the list for revealing shared values
- Other questions covered money, holidays and people’s general levels of trust
- Researchers have also revealed UK singles’ most hated first date questions
As if first dates weren’t fraught enough, smart singles should be grilling prospective partners on how they voted in the EU referendum, a new study suggests.
‘How did you vote on Brexit?’ is the top question to ask to gauge your compatibility with other people looking for love, propose University of Liverpool researchers.
They suggest four other key questions, including ‘What was your last holiday?’ and ‘How did you spend Christmas and New Year?’
Asking specific questions about how people have behaved — rather than how they would like to be thought of — can provide a more honest insight into someone’s values, psychologists from the University of Liverpool found.
Experts also revealed daters’ most hated questions, including ‘Why are you in debt?’, and the questions singles really want answers to but don’t have the nerve to ask.
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As if first dates weren’t fraught enough, smart singles should be grilling prospective partners on how they voted in the EU referendum, a new study suggests. ‘How did you vote on Brexit?’ is the top question to ask to gauge your compatibility with other people, experts say (stock)
The thorny topic of Brexit has split the country down political lines — and not even our love lives are safe.
Behavioural psychologists Eric Robinson and Michelle Tornquist were researching the most useful and informative questions to put to prospective paramours on a first date.
The duo analysed the results of an omnibus survey of the qualities 2,000 UK adults value in potential partners, which had been conducted in 2018 by Opinium Research.
Based on their findings, researchers have put forward five seemingly normal questions that can best help singles gauge romantic compatibility and detect any potential relationship red flags.
Top of the list is finding out how dates voted in the EU referendum.
‘Our political views communicate our wider social values and worldview,’ Dr Robinson said, noting that previous research suggests that holding opposing political views can cause relationships to fail.
‘The issue is most prominent amongst younger generations, with reports showing 22 per cent of millennial couples having broken up with someone over political differences,’ he added.
‘So, the sooner you know your partner’s outlook the better.’
In addition, exploring political opinions on issues around the referendum — such as the economy, foreign policy and green issues — can help to build a sense of how intelligent and altruistic a date might be, Dr Robinson said.
Even though their recommended top five questions can feel counter-intuitive, the researchers said, they can provide greater insights into a date’s personality.
‘In this research, we focused on “concrete questions”,’ said Dr Robinson.
‘By asking specifically about what a person did last weekend, rather than what they say they like to do at the weekends, we get a picture of a person that isn’t tainted by how they would like to look – a more real version of themselves, so to speak.
‘For singles that are looking for deeper level commitment, we hope these first date questions act as a useful conversation tool.’
Researchers have put forward five seemingly normal questions that can best help singles gauge romantic compatibility and detect any potential relationship red flags (stock image)
The second best first date question, according to the researchers, is ‘If you lost your wallet, do you think it would be returned?’
‘We devised this question because there’s no factually ‘correct’ answer – it depends on how the individual asked perceives the world,’ said Dr Tornquist.
‘If someone has good faith a lost wallet will be returned, they may be a more trusting and open-minded individual.’
Research has suggested that people prefer partners who are generally more rusting, and those relationships built on trust are considered to be more satisfying.
Another proposed question concerned how dates spend the majority of their money.
This is a topic that is both a source of much relationship conflict, but can help first daters to understand their potential partner’s level of financial responsibility.
‘Research indicates that people who feel that their partner spends money foolishly are 45 per cent more likely to divorce,’ said Dr Michelle Tornquist.
‘Plus, if someone responds to this question with lengthy story about sports cars and designer clothes, it could be a red flag if your values about money are very different.’
Alongside the first date questions, the study also highlighted that UK singles are unhappy with the wrong questions being asked on first dates — with common tactless queries including such horrors as ‘How much do you actually weigh?’ and ‘How much money did you get in your divorce?’
One in six singles reported suspecting that their prospective partners were frequently dishonest on dates.
The researchers also found the three top questions that British singles wish they could ask on a first date, but rarely dare.
They are ‘Why did your last relationship really end?’, ‘Do you abuse drugs or alcohol?’ and ‘When did you last have an STI check?’
The researchers have shared ‘simple but effective questions for decoding personality traits’, said Rachael Lloyd, a spokesperson for eharmony, which instigated the research.
‘However, be warned — asking someone how they voted on Brexit on a first date could lead to trouble in paradise!’
‘Our research suggests that the Brexit vote led to 1.6 million Brits either breaking up with a partner or choosing not to progress things with a fresh romantic interest,’ Ms Lloyd added.
WHAT ARE THE TOP FIVE BEST QUESTIONS TO ASK ON A FIRST DATE, ACCORDING TO EXPERTS?
Even though the five questions can feel counter-intuitive, they can provide greater insights into a date’s personality, researchers said (stock image)
According to University of Liverpool behavioural psychologists Eric Robinson and Michelle Tornquist, the following five questions are the best to ask on a first date to help prospective lovers gauge compatibility:
1. ‘How did you vote on Brexit?’ — exploring issues around the EU referendum can help identify how much your partner shares your worldview.
2. ‘If you lost your wallet do you think it would be returned?’ — this question helps reveal how trusting people are, with unguarded people typically considered to be more desirable in a relationship.
3. ‘What was your last holiday?’ — offering a more truthful insight than asking about future plans, past vacation choices can reveal a person’s levels of extroversion and adventure.
4. ‘What do you spend most of your money on?’ — shines light on the often challenging issue of money and individual financial responsibilities.
5. ‘How did you spend Christmas and New Year?’ — how dates spent the festive period can reveal how much they value family and their levels of extroversion, with introverts more likely to crave a break from the social events commonly associated with the seasons.
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