T.D. Jakes Book 'Crushing': What to Do When Your World Falls Apart

Sometimes life has a way of pulling you down until you feel like there’s no reason to get out of bed. It can be tough to get through the day when your world feels like it’s imploding. How can you regain your footing when everything seems to be going wrong? What’s the key to working through emotional pain?

Bishop T.D. Jakes recently answered these questions when he appeared on the Today show to talk about his new book, Crushing. In the book, he discusses the reason we go through tough times and how to triumph after being crushed by life.

What does Crushing mean?

Your first question might be about the title. What exactly does crushing refer to? Jakes told Today Show host Jenna Bush the title refers to the crushing of grapes. Here’s how Jakes explained the title of the book:

It’s a metaphor about making wine, and you think grapes are one of the primary fruits that are raised to be crushed. If you look to the crushing process you would think that was the end, but in reality, that is the place of transformation where it becomes its best self. In a similar way, we become our best selves after having endured things that we thought were going to kill us.

T.D. Jakes says when life crushes you, know that it’s part of a bigger process

Although it might seem like nothing good could come from having your world fall apart, Jakes says the rough patches are part of a process we must go through to achieve greater things in life. In his Today interview, he reminds us of the necessity of pain before birth:

Life is about what happens next. It’s a process; it’s not the promise. In an age where we’re not talking much about process, always about promises and destination, but not transformation or results, I thought it was a great message to talk about, especially during this season. You can’t have resurrection without crucifixion. Sometimes we have them in the most personal places of our lives, and we don’t know how to get out.

How do you survive the crushing?

Jakes says the key to overcoming trials in life is not to
get stuck in the thing that is holding you down. Don’t dwell on the trial or the
problem. Instead, realize it is part of your journey, and this step will help
you get to the next level in life. “You can’t control what happens in life that
may be crushing to you, whether it’s emotional or physical… Don’t get stuck in
that. See it as a revolution, a transformation into the highest, best form of
yourself,” said Jakes in his Today

T.D. Jakes says we get stuck in our trials because we get too comfortable

Although it makes sense to try to get out of a cycle of pain, it can be tough to move forward. Jakes says we often remain in the valleys of life because it’s what is comfortable for us at the time. However, he says it’s important to get to the point where you refuse to accept defeat as your new “normal”:

We get stuck because we are so adaptable to our environment that we start accepting normatives out of things that were not meant to be normal in our lives. And so, there’s a pathology of pain that people get into where if anything good comes along we reject it because it is no longer our norm. We have built a system to support us in the pain that does not accommodate getting out. And you have to break out with the risk of feeling awkward with happy and awkward with joy.

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