The X Factor
Simon Cowell says he has stopped checking The X Factor’s ratings because he doesn’t care about them any more.
In which case, man, did he pick the right time to give up looking at The X Factor’s ratings.
That Saturday’s opening live show only managed 4.4 million was bad enough.
The bigger worry is I can only see it getting worse.
I’m not saying it was a long, drawn out, life-sapping affair.
However, when 16-year-old Molly Scott said, ‘I can’t believe I was only one when The X Factor started’, I wasn’t entirely sure whether she was referring to X Factor as a historical entity or simply to Saturday night’s show alone.
There’s talent there for sure. There always is.
Sadly, it’s a bit much to ask us to sit through two hours of overblown High Street Musical guff in the hope we’ll be rewarded with something as beautiful as Shan Ako’s Imagine.
The expensive signings who were supposed to turn the live shows into water cooler TV utterly failed to deliver.
As expected Robbie Williams quickly turned the theme of This Is Me into This Is Me, Me, Me.
Meanwhile, Ayda Field’s inability to stop talking was either a sign of nerves or a belligerent test of Dermot O’Leary’s patience.
Louis Tomlinson was pleasant enough, but the pretend spats with the flagging and sagging mentor to his left will get boring
As for Cowell, although he’s probably even more disinterested than he looks on TV, I would still like to offer him two small bits of advice.
One, listen to your own words on the subject of over-staging and over-thinking things, ‘It works better when it’s messy, when there’s chemistry, when it’s fun’.
Two, make that begging phone call to Sharon Osbourne.
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