Made In Chelsea star Ashley James revealed she is battling feelings of guilt after initially feeling disappointed to learn she is pregnant with a boy.
The 33-year-old learnt the gender of her baby in recent weeks and confessed she had originally been hoping to have a girl.
Ashley explained she struggled to separate her negative experiences with men in the past from the male gender, though vowed to take a more positive approach in the future.
The confession came after a Q and A session, in which a fan asked: "Can you tell us more about your gender disappointment? I think there's a stigma around it."
Ashley bravely opened up about the phenomenon of "gender disappointment," and replied: "I think a lot of people feel guilty because A) Having a baby is such a blessing they feel guilty to admit any disappointment.
"B) They worry people will judge them or think they won't love their child.
"For me, I'm passionate about empowering women. I've spent the last decade on a huge journey trying to build self-esteem, boundaries and confidence. I'd love to pass this down to a daughter."
The reality star revealed she took a look at her own experiences in relationships and decided to change her attitude when it came to parenting.
She said: "I also have had a lot of negative experiences with men, and learning I was having a boy made me deal with a lot of that and also work on separating my negative experiences from an entire sex."
Admitting she is now thrilled to welcome a boy into the family, she said: "I'm now really excited to know I can raise an incredibly respectful boy.
"Also there's never been any doubt in my mind that I will love the hell out of this baby and I feel very connected to him, so please don't mistake gender disappointment with lack of love."
Ashley announced she was expecting her first baby back in April, breaking the happy news with her beau Tom Andrews.
Thrilled about the pregnancy, she told fans: "I’m beyond excited/nervous to finally be able to share our incredibly happy news with you all – especially given I'm an open book who HATES keeping secrets."
The lovebirds have spent the lockdown with Tom’s parents in rural France, with Ashley riding out her pregnancy under the sun in Dordogne.
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