Picture the hottest and best place to wear vibrating underwear. Maybe it’s at an uber romantic night out, maybe it’s for an erotic Valentine’s date, or maybe it’s at home while your LDR partner controls your orgasm from far away. All solid options—or at least, much better options than what happened to me last weekend when I accidentally wore vibrating panties with my in-laws. Let me explain.
It all started when my sister-in-law invited my husband and I over to her house. “Super casual,” she said when we received the last-minute invitation. “I’m just having a few people over.”
In my vernacular, “a few people” means a party of randoms, and since my hubs and I didn’t have anything better to do, we decided to go. But just as we were about to head out, I noticed I received a package on the front door. It was the Lovense Ferri vibrator I had been waiting for.
Brief description: The toy is a bit different from the other panty vibes on the market. Not only can you control it from a phone by connecting via Bluetooth, but you can also create your own patterns that it memorizes. And instead of the vibrator coming attached to one specific pair of underwear, it’s a bullet with a magnet, so you can attach it to any pair of underwear whenever you want.
Since my hubs and I had been wanting to try it forever, I suggested to him that I wear it while over at his sister’s house. He was obviously in because when it comes to public sex, the kinkier, the better. What can I say? We’re true exhibitionists.
Now I know what you’re thinking, and sure, wearing vibrating underwear to your sister-in-law’s house sounds risky as hell. But a) I’m actually close friends with her, so I knew it wouldn’t be too much, and b) I figured it wouldn’t be a big deal at a party she was hosting. I thought she’d be too busy drinking and entertaining to do much family bonding.
So, on our way to her house, I connected the toy to my husband’s phone and shoved it into my panties. But as we knocked on the door ready to have a night full of ~experimenting~, we were greeted by none other than my husband’s mother.
As she gave me a hug, I noticed my husband’s sister, brother, and step-father all beaming at us over her shoulder. The shock of unexpectedly seeing my mother-in-law left me temporarily traumatized. I just walked into a surprise in-law visit with a fully-charged vibrator sitting on my clit waiting to make me cum.
After being passed around for hugs, kisses, and a chorus of “we wanted to surprise you!” his sister quickly filled us in that with the holidays coming up and my husband’s 30th birthday being right around the corner, they figured a surprise, spontaneous family dinner was in order. And that’s when I felt a short jolt come from my torso.
I turned to my husband to see him smiling at his phone as the bullet started tapping out a light, continuous rhythm of vibrations. “What the fuck are you doing?” I whispered as his sister ushered everyone into the dining room.
“You said you wanted to test it out,” he said back before pulling out my chair and motioning for me to sit. Stunned, I tried to think through my options as the steady buzz teased my labia, his family all settling in around us. Slowly growing in intensity, the vibrations were already making me feel squirmy.
“Dear?” his mom asked, looking at me from the head of the table. “Is everything alright?” I attempted to answer but was too afraid a moan would come out if I opened my mouth. So instead, I just fervently shook my head and collapsed down in my chair.
I could feel my vision beginning to cloud as his family smiled around at each other, unaware that I was well on my way to orgasming right in front of them. And just as we were about to start eating, my husband fumbled under the table and the bullet reached maximum power.
“Slowly growing in intensity, the vibrations were already making me feel squirmy.”
Within mere seconds, every nerve-ending in my vagina felt electrified. My toes scrunched inside my shoes. I trembled as the intense BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZZZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZZZZ pattern jolted against my clitoris. My eyes rolled back as the sensations traveled through my body. I pushed my knees together, willing my orgasm to hold off.
Just as my face started to flush in that “I’m about to explode” kind of way, I bolted from the table muttering “bathroom” before climaxing mid-run down the hallway, something I was unaware was even possible.
The second the bathroom door slammed shut behind me, I whipped the still-buzzing vibrator out of my underwear and collapsed on the toilet in a mixture of ecstasy, exhaustion, humiliation, and hilarity. Say what you will, but vibrating panties at a restaurant could never.
After splashing some water on my fiery cheeks, I rinsed the bullet off, wrapped it up in some toilet paper, and stashed it under the sink. My purse was still in the other room with my in-laws, but I told myself I would just grab it before I left.
By the time I returned to the table, everyone was eating and talking with each other, so the only one who paid me any attention was my smug-looking husband. The rest of the evening continued as normal. We drank, laughed, and drank some more.
By the time we left, I all but forgot about the fact that I had climaxed in my sister-in-law’s dining room. That was, of course, until the next day when she texted me saying she found the vibe in her bathroom next to the Ibuprofen. Big Yikes.
So, while I almost got away with accidentally orgasming in from of my in-laws, I’m ready to change my name, move across the country, fake my own death, and maybe get my vibrator back while I’m at it. I guess I deserve it though, huh?
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