DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend has taken to snogging her best friend on drunken nights out. At first, I found it quite a turn-on – but now she wants to take it further.
She is suggesting that I and the other girl’s boyfriend watch while they have sex.
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Seeing your girlfriend with another beautiful woman is the ultimate fantasy, but I’m worried she’s getting bored of me.
I’ve been with my girlfriend for three years and she’s a lot of fun, a real free spirit.
She’s 23 and I’m 25. She and her best friend turn heads wherever we go. Her friend is 24 and the other boyfriend is 26.
The four of us get on really well and there’s always plenty of banter about wife-swapping and sharing. But banter is all I thought it was.
The first time they kissed was on a big night out. We’d all had quite a few drinks then went clubbing. My girlfriend and her friend always dance loads but that night was different.
They were dancing very provocatively with each other. Every now and again she would look over to me to check I was watching, then would start kissing her friend.
The other bloke was absolutely loving it and kept boasting about how he was going to make it a night to remember when he got his girlfriend home. Now, every time we go out as a foursome my girlfriend and her friend have a proper snog.
She has asked me if I like her kissing her friend and I have said I do. How can I now tell her the truth? The last time we went out they all suggested the four of us should “take the party home”.
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I laughed along but felt pretty uneasy with how insistent the other bloke was getting. If I’m honest, the first kiss was sexy, but seeing them together since then has left me cold.
I don’t want to be a party pooper and don’t want to lose my girlfriend.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like a big part of why your girlfriend is getting physical with her best friend is because she thinks you like it.
You need to be able to talk about what you like and what you don’t if you are going to make a success of your relationship. Tell her how you feel and she may well be relieved to hear you don’t want to watch her having sex with her best friend, which incidentally could also jeopardise their relationship.
You and your girlfriend should then present yourself as a team and let the other couple know you still love their company but don’t want to share their bed.
If you are looking to liven up your sex life together, read my support pack 50 Ways To Add Fun together for inspiration.
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