Knowing I have to leave my daughter alone with her dad is making me anxious | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: KNOWING I have to let my daughter spend time alone with her father is making me so anxious.

I would never try to stop him from seeing his child but she barely knows him, and cries when she’s away from me.

I’m 37 and my daughter is two. My ex is 40.

Our relationship broke down soon after she was born.

He became very controlling and didn’t like the fact the baby was getting all my attention.

Although he was never physically abusive, he used to shout at me and put me down.

We divorced earlier this year, and, after months of arguing, now have access arrangements in place.

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He gets to have her for a whole day at the weekend, which I feel is too much.

I am so worried about how I will hand her over to him for the first time when she is hysterically crying and sobbing for me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Your concerns are natural. Letting a young child out of your sight for the first time is tough.

But your daughter is almost certainly more resilient than you think.

And it will be good for her to get to know her dad better, and to spend time in a different environment.

Next time, I promise, it will be a lot easier.

Perhaps you can ask your ex if he’ll allow a mutual friend or grandparent to be there the first time, so you feel more reassured.

Your fears are compounded because your ex was abusive.


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Sometimes, an abusive relationship can leave residual trauma.

Counselling can help and for further advice, contact (0808 800 2222).

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