But could a teen pregnancy be the making of a young woman? Clare O'Reilly speaks to three teenage mums from different decades to discover how the experience has shaped their lives.
Pregnant at 16
BRIDGET DALEY, 42, became a mum at 16 in 1992, and again at the age of 18. Having put a career on hold to raise kids Satari and Ramon, she later got a degree and now runs a firm helping parents to grow their businesses. Bridget, from Stamford Hill, North London, is also mum to Tianna, 20, Tyrese, 15, and Tamira, seven. She says:
"I was in labour and begging for pain relief when I was delivering my daughter Satari in 1995. My midwife looked at me and said: “No, maybe if you feel how much it hurts, you won’t go back for more and be a teenage mum again.”
That comment has stayed with me my whole life. I’d been with my eldest son Ramon’s father for six months when I got pregnant. I was on birth control, he was four years older and while he was supportive and helped financially, we split up when Ramon was eight months old.
My mum Joan, who’s now 61, was disappointed when I told her I was expecting – mainly because she’d been a single mum since I was five, so she knew how hard things could be on your own. She also knew I was saying goodbye to school and education at that point and she worried I’d never pick it up again.
While my sex education was non-existent, it improved for Ramon and improved again for Tyrese.It’s positive that rates have fallen because becoming a teen mother is not the ideal option – but it’s not the end of the world if it happens.
I had Ramon when teen pregnancies were at an all-time high, and society judged me. I remember being 18 and pregnant with Satari – who has a different father to Ramon – when Ramon was throwing a tantrum outside McDonald’s. A woman walked past and said: “That’s why babies shouldn’t have babies.”
When Ramon and Satari went to nursery with my mum’s support, I went to college and qualified as a counsellor. I then went to university when Ramon was 14 and did a degree in psychosocial studies. If any of my kids were to become a parent in their teenage years, I’d be nothing but supportive.
Your present situation does not determine your final destination. I’d also tell them they’re not missing out, they’re just doing things in a different order. I’ve done everything my peers have, just a different way round.
It hasn’t been easy raising a child when you feel like a child yourself but having Ramon at 16 showed me how strong I was, and I’ll always thank him for bringing that out of me."
Ramon, now 25 and an operations analyst, adds: “Growing up together, Mum’s always been easy to talk to. We’re very close and there’s not much I don’t tell her.
“When I was young, at times she seemed like a big sister. But it wasn’t until I reached my twenties that I thought about what she must have given up for me. She’s an incredible role model and proof you can make it, no matter what happens in life.”
Pregnant at 18
FULL-TIME mum Madison Riley, 19, from Wembury, in Devon, was 18 when she got pregnant with daughter Arielle, now ten months. After two years with Arielle’s father Tom, they split up in October 2017 when Madison was six months pregnant. She says:
"We weren’t trying for a baby and I was on birth control. There were long talks and we decided we’d keep the baby. I was at college and Tom was at university, so we decided I’d put my studies on hold and resume them when she was older. But things didn’t work out and at six months pregnant we split up, though we have remained friends.
Tom wasn’t in the room when Arielle was born. I had my mum Nikki, who’s 46, and elder sister Amber, 25, as birthing partners. I still live at home, which means Mum and my dad John, 47, are a huge help. But my life has changed irreversibly since having Arielle.
She is up at 5am every day, so when most of my peers are sleeping in, I always see the sunrise with her.Mum and Dad look after her occasionally if I go out, but I’m usually too tired to stay out late and wouldn’t drink knowing I have her to look after the next day. My friends are all a million miles away from becoming mums so we have less in common.
When I’m out with Arielle I do get looks but I bite my tongue because I don’t want an argument. Me shouting would prove what they already think about teenage mums.My two brothers – Luke, 24, and Lewie, 18 – both live at home and Arielle adores them both. She’s brought us all closer as a family.
I’ve been asked out a couple of times. I talk about her straight away, which has scared off a couple of guys. I dated one guy casually for a month or so but I didn’t have any time to spend with him. Arielle is a full-time job and she’s my priority, so I’ll stay single until she’s older. I also want to go back to college and finish my beauty diploma.
I know numbers of teen mums are reducing but I don’t think we’re that unusual – there’s plenty of teen and young mum Facebook pages.I’d be upset if Arielle went down the same path as me because I know what she’d have to give up.
But if she did come through the door as a teenager with the same news I did, she would have my complete support. And, like my mum, I would do everything I could to keep her life as normal as possible."
Pregnant at 17
MUM-OF-THREE Lesley Hensman, 30, from Plymouth, was 17 when she became pregnant with oldest daughter Liberty, now 12. The beauty therapist married Ashley, 36, who works for a heating business, in 2006, when Liberty was five months old. They are also parents to Bailey, 11, and Ashley, seven. Lesley says:
"I was on birth control when I got pregnant, so it was a shock. While it felt like my entire world changed in a heartbeat, there was never a question about keeping the baby. Until I met Ashley, I’d been happily single. But within nine months I was pregnant and engaged.
My parents – Sharon, 49, and Martin, 50 – were understandably upset because they were worried about my future. Mum was 19 when she had me and her relationship with my biological father hadn’t worked out, so she was scared I’d end up a single mum like her.
But we decided to make a success of it, come what may. We moved in together when Libby was two weeks old. It was tough at the start. Neither of us had lived away from home before. We weren’t used to budgeting, cooking for ourselves or cleaning up.
When you add a newborn into the mix, it was hard. We had some of our biggest arguments ever in those early days but not once did either of us think about throwing in the towel.We finished having our family when I was 23 and I’ve since gone back to college and started my own mobile beauty therapy business.
When Libby was little, lots of mums at playgroups would look down on me. But now I’ve built a really close circle of friends of all ages
I’d be upset for Libby if she came home pregnant at 17 but only because the majority of teenage mums are also single mums.
It will never be completely accepted by society that some choose to become mums so young but it gave me a future."
Liberty says: “Mum’s always been the youngest on the school run and she’s by far the coolest and looks the best. But I do think about the things she couldn’t do because she had me so young. We have lots in common and I find it easy to tell her things. It feels like she understands my world more.”
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