‘I carried you, felt you grow and longed for the day we’d meet’: Lauren Goodger shares a heartbreaking message for her daughter Lorena weeks after the newborn’s death
- If you have been affected by anything in this article, please contact the UK Child Bereavement line on 0800 02 888 40 or the The Lullaby Trust on 0808 8026868
Lauren Goodger has taken to social media to share a heartbreaking message for her baby daughter Lorena, following the newborn’s death last month.
The former TOWIE star, 35, posted a moving tribute on her Instagram Stories saying she ‘longed for the day’ she would meet her baby girl, who died just two days after her birth.
Her post read: ‘I carried you, felt you grow. Longed for the day we’d meet. Dreamed of your future. Not only did I know you, I fell in love with you.’
Tragic: Lauren Goodger has taken to social media to share a heartbreaking message for her baby daughter Lorena, following the newborn’s death last month
Hours later Lauren shared another post on her Instagram Stories, which consisted of just a black screen accompanied by a blue butterfly and a red heart emoji.
Last week Lauren put on a brave face following her heartbreaking loss to celebrate her daughter Larose’s first birthday, with the reality star seen arriving for her little girl’s party in Essex just two weeks after Lorena’s death.
It comes after Lauren said she ‘doesn’t blame anyone’ for the death of her newborn baby Lorena.
Lauren has since decided to have a post mortem after she has been to visit her one last time for a ‘final goodbye’ in order to better understand what happened.
Devastating: The former TOWIE star, 35, posted a moving tribute on her Instagram Stories saying she ‘longed for the day’ she would meet her baby girl, who died just two days after her birth
Lauren told new! magazine: ‘I plan to go to see her soon to say my final goodbyes. I wasn’t going to have a post-mortem at first, but I changed my mind. I feel like I need answers.
‘I need more of an understanding of why this happened. I don’t blame anyone, I can’t. It is what it is, and obviously, it’s awful. I’d do anything to rewind it. I guess I can blame myself, but then again I think it’s happened and I can’t change it.
‘I have to try and move forwards and accept it. But first I need to understand it. That’s why I changed my mind about the post-mortem.’
Lauren said she was able to spend 24 hours with her baby in a special room, where she cried, kissed her little hands and feet and told her she loved her.
Sad news: Her post read: ‘I carried you, felt you grow. Longed for the day we’d meet. Dreamed of your future. Not only did I know you, I fell in love with you’
She added that she has been putting on a brave face for her daughter Larose but the grief hits her the most in the evenings.
She added that Lorena has a teddy with her now and she has a matching one which she keeps with her.
When she says her final goodbyes, she is going to swap them over, so that she has the one Lorena has and Lorena has Lauren’s bear.
Speaking out in a bid to help others, Lauren said that she is in ‘agony’ after having stitches because she tore inside and out.
Lauren announced the sad news that her daughter had tragically passed away with an Instagram post on July 10.
Tribute: Hours later Lauren shared another post on her Instagram Stories, which consisted of just a black screen accompanied by a blue butterfly and a red heart emoji
Lauren’s waters had broken on July 6 and Tamzin, her NHS midwife, came to her house to take her blood pressure and listen to the baby’s heartbeat.
The TV personality was planning a second home birth with no drugs because she had with older daughter Larose, who was born in a ‘perfect’, ‘amazing’ and ‘smooth’ home birth last year.
Midwife Tamzin told Lauren ‘everything was where it should be’ and she waited for her contractions to start at home.
Lauren’s boyfriend Charles Drury took Larose to stay with family so Lauren could rest and she chilled out and went to sleep.
The following morning, July 7, midwife Tamzin came around again to check the baby’s heartbeat and movement, as well as Lauren’s blood pressure and temperature.
Awful: It comes after Lauren said she ‘doesn’t blame anyone’ for the death of her newborn baby Lorena (pictured with her partner Charles)
Once again, both mother and baby were normal, and Lauren didn’t have any ‘pain or signs of labour’.
On the morning of July 8 there were still no signs of contractions, so Charles brought Larose back and Lauren breastfed her because the stimulation can bring on contractions, which worked.
Lauren’s contractions began and she called her midwife to tell her Lorena was coming.
Tamzin came over immediately to check the heartbeat, but was devastatingly unable to find it, despite locating a ‘really strong heartbeat’ just hours before.
She told Lauren she was ‘really worried’ and called an ambulance. Lauren, ‘in agony’ at this point, was blue-lighted to hospital, and was ‘stood up screaming’ throughout the journey.
By the time she had arrived at hospital, Lorena’s head was crowning as she stood outside, which Lauren said was the ‘most traumatic experience I’ve ever been through in my life’.
She and Charles were taken inside the hospital and shown to a private room, where Lauren gave birth to Lorena just two hours after her contractions had started.
Lauren immediately knew there was a problem because there was no cry from Lorena and a team of doctors rushed into the room.
Lorena was born with two big knots in her umbilical cord and with the cord tied around her neck, causing life-threatening problems.
Doctors desperately fought to save Lorena, performing chest compressions and giving her adrenaline for eight minutes while trying in vain to resuscitate her.
The medical team were sadly unsuccessful and told Lauren and Charles there was nothing more they could do.
If you have been affected by anything in this article, please contact the UK Child Bereavement line on 0800 02 888 40 or the The Lullaby Trust on 0808 8026868
Parents: Lauren and Charles are parents to Lauren’s first daughter Larose, with Charles saying their newborn looked just like her older sister
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