Michelle Pearson's children Demi, 15, Brandon, eight, Lacie, seven, and three-year-old Lia all died after petrol bombs were chucked through their window as they lay sleeping in their home in Walkden, Salford, last December.
Ten months on Michelle is still in a critical condition in hospital after suffering 75 per cent burns.
The 36-year-old's mum Sandra Lever told the Jeremy Kyle Show she was forced to break the news to her daughter after she woke from a five-month coma.
Mrs Lever said: "It either had to come from me or the nurses.
"It was only because she [Michelle] asked me.
"I was talking about the grandkids, the youngest one.
"She [Michelle] said 'where's my baby?'. I said 'Lia'.
Sandra said the horrifying news wouldn't sink in.
"We did tell her numerous times that she had passed away in the fire but she got, like, in denial.
"She just kept asking every day. Kept forgetting and forgetting.
"It lasted for about six weeks before it sunk into her."
Michelle's sister Sarah, the children's aunt, added: "She kept saying 'bring the kids down next time you come' and 'who's looking after them?' and 'make sure you give Demi some money'."
They both said Michelle had now come to terms with the devastating news, but are concerned that she might not survive.
"She can't move from the neck down but she's not paralysed. That's because she was in a coma for so long – muscle wastage.
"She will have to go through rehab and learn to walk again."
Jeremy Kyle asked them: "Would it be better if your daughter passed away?"
Mrs Lever revealed "they did think that at the beginning".
She said: "We just wanted her to be, like, with the children because without the children, it ain't going to be Michelle."
Earlier this year, Zak Bolland, David Worrall and Courtney Brierley were all jailed in connection with the arson attack.
Bolland, 23, and his friend Worrall, 26, were handed life sentences for murder, while Bolland's ex-girlfriend Brierley, 20, was handed 21 years for manslaughter for helping the pair.
Michelle was too ill to attend the funeral services for her children, even though they were arranged to be held nine months later in September in the hope that she would be well enough.
However, with her condition still fragile, Michelle was instead shown photographs of the funeral which was attended by family members, friends and hundreds of well-wishers.
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