CRAIG BROWN: I charm, you smarm, he's oily – to conjugate politicians

CRAIG BROWN: I charm, you smarm, he’s awfully oily – how to conjugate politicians

I am forthright.    

You don’t suffer fools gladly.  

He is a bully. 

 

I am chatty.

You are a chatterbox.

He is a blabbermouth.

 

I am self-assured.

You are self-satisfied.

He wears a Garrick Club tie.

I am forthright. You don’t suffer fools gladly. He is a bully (Ian Richardson pictured as Francis Urquhart in the third part of the House of Cards trilogy)

 

I am passionate.

You are excitable.

He flies off the handle.

 

I am un homme serieux.

You know what you’re talking about.

He is a crashing bore.

 

I am a wit.

You are a jester.

He is a clown.

 

I gossip.

You are a gossip.

He is a malicious gossip.

 

I love the English language.

You tend to go on a bit.

He is in love with the sound of his own voice.

 

I speak as I find.

You sound off.

He turns the air blue.

 

I have leadership skills.

You are bossy.

He is a tyrant.

 

I suffer from depression.

You feel sorry for yourself.

He sulks.

 

I am competitive.

You are fiercely competitive.

He is a bad loser.

 

I uphold traditional values.

You are a throwback to a less enlightened age.

He is a old bigot.

 

I offer constructive criticism.

You carp.

He smears.

 

I am tactile.

You are touchy-feely.

He is a sex-pest.

 

I am a heavyweight.

You are well-rounded.

He is fat.

 

I am a bit of a rebel.

You are not a team player.

He is a pain in the neck.

 

I am a patriot.

You are a nationalist.

He is a bigot.

 

I charm.

You smarm.

He is oily.

 

I am a super-forecaster.

You are a pundit.

He is a conman.

 

I am a maverick.

You are a misfit.

He is a weirdo.

 

I am classy.

You are well-connected.

He is a snob.

 

I am a living legend.

You used to be on the telly.

My goodness! Is he still going?

 

I am a very private person.

You are buttoned-up.

He is hiding something.

 

I am firm.

You are stubborn.

He is pig-headed.

 

I am dispassionate.

You lack the human touch.

He is a psycho.

 

I am an orator.

You will not be gagged.

He is a windbag.

 

I am an expert.

You are a so-called expert.

Didn’t he once appear on Any Questions?

 

I am dispassionate.

You lack empathy.

He is a psychopath.

 

I am a tireless campaigner.

You have a bee in your bonnet.

He bangs on and on.

 

I am the victim of a concerted campaign of character assassination.

You are subject to rumour.

But did you hear what they’re saying about him?

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