When it comes to being a working mom, Tiffany Moon is struggling with feelings of guilt.
On Tuesday's Real Housewives of Dallas, the anesthesiologist and mom of two opened up about the difficulties of balancing her work life and motherhood duties.
"It was tough before the pandemic and now I'm working in the middle of a pandemic," Tiffany, who recently opened up to PEOPLE about her experience with racism while caring for patients amid the COVID-19 pandemic, told her husband Daniel. "Even before coronavirus times, I was a little bit feeling like my work-life balance was not good. I think when the girls were smaller, they didn't care that I left or that I was spending the night in the hospital, but now they notice."
"Like, I still think doing anesthesia is the coolest thing in the world," she continued. "I love my work. I just don't want to do it all the time."
Supporting his wife, Daniel reminded her that "no one's forcing you to work full-time."
In a tearful confession, Tiffany went on to admit that she felt she was always "disappointing" someone.
"Imagine your whole life you wanted to climb this mountain," Tiffany told her husband. "It's all you ever wanted. You work so hard to get to this mountain and then you get to the top, but then you look around and you're like, 'Why did I climb this mountain again?' I just feel like no matter what, I'm disappointing somebody."
After Daniel reassured his wife that she was in no way a disappointment, Tiffany admitted that she struggled with feelings of self-doubt.
"My first priority has always been school plus my career," Tiffany, who immigrated from China to the United States as a child, told cameras. "I just want to prove to my parents that all their efforts were not wasted in bringing me to America and giving me the opportunity for a better life."
Since welcoming her daughters, Tiffany — who is mom to 6-year-old twins Chloe and Madison — told Daniel that she felt she had been a "part-time mom."
"I feel like, for the last six years, I've been full-time doctor and part-time mom," she said.
"I'm not being the best version of mom to them because I'm so tired from work. Chloe wanted to ride her bike outside yesterday and I was like, 'Can we not?' And Chloe was like, 'Mommy, you're always too tired to play with me.' It made me so sad," she admitted. "I don't want to be that mom. My mom never played with me. I don't want to turn into the type of mom that I had. I want to be a better version."
Last week, Tiffany opened up about her "lonely" childhood and the strict guidelines she had to follow growing up.
"As a child, my parents moved around a lot," she explained. "We were very much working class. They were still in school and working odds and ends jobs that they could. So I grew up in a very not affluent neighborhood. And to my parents, the most important thing in life was getting a good education and a stable job and having a family. So they instilled that in me so much so that I was laser-focused."
"I went to an early college program for high school students where you basically skip the last two years of high school," she continued. "And then before I knew it, I was graduating from Cornell. I was 19 years old. And then I went straight into medical school and graduated at 23 years old in May of 2008."
While Tiffany reached her professional goals, she admitted to Daniel that she still felt "part of me is like, I'm repaying them."
"That's the guilt I feel; that I need to succeed to make their sacrifice worthwhile," said Tiffany.
The Real Housewives of Dallas airs Tuesdays (9 p.m. ET) on Bravo.
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