Remember that nightmare you had where a bunch of “celebrities” (please note the quotation marks) dressed up in costumes and tried to slay you with their siren-like voices? Turns out, that’s real life and I’m literally *thisclose* to The Masked Singer rendering me fully deceased. Cause of death? The Fox (please note: this image might make you shriek wildly at your screen):
Feel free to perform a quick exorcism on your body in the event that you just got cursed!!!!!!!
Anyway, as anyone who diligently watches The Masked Singer knows, the show basically involves a gaggle of “famous” people—many of whom you’ve never heard of, it’s fine—putting on incredibly haunted costumes (like, lord help us, The Flamingo) and facing off in a singing competition. Naturally, there are a ton of theories floating around the interwebz about who these masked maniacs are, including our previously mentioned foxy friend.
Despite basically being a shell of my former self due to The Egg scrambling my brain cells (*laughs weakly*) with his sinister Humpty Dumpty smile, I’m here to talk through The Fox’s identity because this show is honestly my favorite thing about 2019. THERE, I SAID IT.
Thanks to The Masked Singer’s clue package, we already know that The Fox is “coming out of its den” and is described as having a “bushy bottom,” which, frankly, is incredibly unhelpful and alarming. But in slightly less irrelevant news, The Fox describes himself as “clever,” “strategic,” and willing to eat almost anything. He also says he’s a “superhero,” so please pay attention, Marvel and DC nerds.
Aside from that, we know Mr. Fox is wearing a Steampunk-inspired costume and has one glowing eye, which are details “conjured up” by the celebrity behind the mask. (Yikes.)
#1: Samuel L. Jackson
I know what you’re thinking: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
But the reference to superheroes + the whole one-eye thing has a lot of YouTubers guessing The Fox is Marvel’s very own Nick Fury, aka THIS GUY:
#2: Jeremy Renner
Okay, stay with me here. Not only does Jeremy “RIP My App” Renner play Hawkeye (emphasis on eye) in the MCU (that’s Marvel Cinematic Universe, duh), but he’s also a singer.
Why do i fell like @Renner4Real is the fox in the masked singer
And fans are pointing out that his song “Main Attraction” is sorta similar to the music in that Masked Singer clue video:
On top of THAT, Jeremy Renner plays a fox in the upcoming animated movie Arctic Dogs.
#3: Sebastian Stan
TBH, this theory kinda makes sense given that Bucky from the MCU has one metal arm and he’s a stone-cold fox. The math just adds up.
#4: Robert Downey Jr.
Okay, obviously, this theory is insane, but just to placate everyone, yes. Fine. Iron Man has light-up eyes. Moving on.
No offense to RDJ, but it seems pretty clear that out of all the predictions listed here, Jeremy is The Fox. Of course, we won’t know for sure until his furry head is decapitated Wednesday night on The Masked Singer, so in the meantime, here’s some nightmare fuel from my mortal enemy:
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