Last month I made the monumental decision to fundamentally change who I am as a person by watching Strictly Come Dancing .
A fortnight later and, boy, has that decision paid off! Is it always like this? God I hope so. There’s been more scandal in two weeks than we ever saw in the 150 years that The X Factor’s been on.
Strictly, it’s a yes from… oops, I mean 10s all round.
But now everything’s in danger of being mucked up, which is why I’m about to implore you to do something controversial. Please, please, don’t vote Seann Walsh off. He has to stay.
I mean, come on, the poor bloke is just misunderstood and definitely a really decent…. HA HA, KIDDING OBVS. He’s lower than the lowest of the low’s much, much lower brother – and he must pay.
If he’s kicked off the show now, he gets to slink away back under whatever rock he crawled out from in the first place… because, let’s be honest, no matter how many extra letters he added to his name for attention, no one had ever heard of him before this.
When the current Strictly line-up was announced, you could have been forgiven for thinking he had a double-barrelled surname, because nobody could read the list of participants without adding Who? to the end of Seann Walsh.
Voting him off is the easy option for him. If he stays, we get retribution.
Imagine how awkward and paranoid he’s going to feel, dancing week after week with the woman he snogged, watched by a disapproving nation who hate his guts – and her husband – from the sidelines.
Seannn has to put his arms around her, knowing everyone in the world is thinking of the last time he put his arms around her, wearing a hat that
even he must now realise was a huge mistake – albeit not the biggest one he made that night.
How hard to film are the cosy rehearsal VTs going to be from now on? Letting Seannnn – and Katya for that matter – get away with not having to go through that agony is simply not an option.
Let’s see them suffer the consequences of their actions, weekly, in high definition.
Another bonus to them staying on the show is that we might get more inspiring messages from his amazing ex-girlfriend, as she
realises more and more what a massive favour he’s done her.
Reading Rebecca Humphries ’ words left none of us in any doubt as to what kind of man – in the loosest sense of the word, needless to say – Seannnnnn Walsh is.
If we keep him on Strictly, there’s a very good chance the conceited, desperate wannabe would start to believe his own hype.
Yes, I’m sure on Saturday night he’ll put on a good show of bashful contrition, but if we keep voting for him to stay, as time went on he’d probably convince himself that he was winning us over. That he was forgiven. That he was doing so brilliantly he might go all the way. That he could triumph over adversity and the Glitterball trophy could actually be his.
There would be a point when it would feel so close he could nearly touch it. And that’s when we vote him off.
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