CAROLINE Flack wrote a heart-wrenching Instagram post before her death in which the star insisted: "I'm not a domestic abuser".
Caroline's Mum Chris today released the unpublished post – written before the TV star's death – detailing how she felt her "whole world and future was swept from under her feet".
In the heart-wrenching post, the 40-year-old had opened up about the night she was arrested after allegedly assaulting boyfriend Lewis Burton.
The Love Island host wrote: "I have always taken responsibility for what happened that night. Even on the night. But the truth is …. It was an accident."
She added: "I am NOT a domestic abuser."
In the post, Caroline also described how she had been struggling with the recent police investigation and CPS decision to charge her – which has since been slammed by her family as a "show trial".
She wrote: "Within 24 hours my whole world and future was swept from under my feet and all the walls that I had taken so long to build around me, collapsed.
"I can't spend every day hidden away being told not to say or speak to anyone.
"I'm not thinking about 'how I'm going to get my career back.' I'm thinking about how I'm going to get mine and my family's life back."
The TV star also opened up about the alleged assault on her boyfriend Lewis, writing: "The blood that someone sold to a newspaper was my blood and that was something very sad and very personal. The reason I am talking today is because my family can't take anymore."
The post was never made public after she was told by advisers not to publish – although it is unclear who offered this advice.
'JUST BE KIND'
It was shared by Caroline's grieving mother Chris, who today spoke for the first time since the tragedy.
She told the Eastern Daily Press: "Carrie was surrounded by love and friends but this was just too much for her."
"Jody her twin sister was there her whole life for her but this time nothing could take away the hurt of such injustice. As Carrie would say: 'In a nasty world just be kind'."
Chris added: "So many untruths were out there but this is how she felt and my family and I would like people to read her own words."
And she paid tribute to Caroline's friends including Molly, Lou, Sam, Liam and Simon for supporting her.
Caroline's family and managers have accused the CPS of a "show trial" that put pressure on Caroline in the days before her death.
The star had been plunged into despair after the decision to charge her with assault in December despite Lewis, 27, begging the Crown Prosecution Service not to proceed with the case.
And the former Love Island host was found dead in her east London flat on Saturday, the day after she had been told that the CPS would continue with the case against her.
Caroline's heartbreaking unseen post
For a lot of people, being arrested for common assault is an extreme way to have some sort of spiritual awakening but for me it's become the normal. I've been pressing the snooze button on many stresses in my life – for my whole life.
I've accepted shame and toxic opinions on my life for over 10 years and yet told myself it's all part of my job. No complaining.
The problem with brushing things under the carpet is …. they are still there and one day someone is going to lift that carpet up and all you are going to feel is shame and embarrassment.
On December the 12th 2019 I was arrested for common assault on my boyfriend …
Within 24 hours my whole world and future was swept from under my feet and all the walls that I had taken so long to build around me, collapsed.
I am suddenly on a different kind of stage and everyone is watching it happen. I have always taken responsibility for what happened that night. Even on the night. But the truth is …. It was an accident.
I've been having some sort of emotional breakdown for a very long time.
But I am NOT a domestic abuser.
We had an argument and an accident happened. An accident.
The blood that someone SOLD to a newspaper was MY blood and that was something very sad and very personal. The reason I am talking today is because my family can't take anymore.
I've lost my job. My home. My ability to speak. And the truth has been taken out of my hands and used as entertainment. I can't spend every day hidden away being told not to say or speak to anyone.
I'm so sorry to my family for what I have brought upon them and for what my friends have had to go through. I'm not thinking about 'how I'm going to get my career back.'
I'm thinking about how I'm going to get mine and my family's life back. I can't say anymore than that.
An inquest into Caroline's death was opened this morning – opened and adjourned so a full investigation into the beloved presenter's death can be carried out.
Caroline's shocking death came hours after she was told prosecutors would be pushing ahead with an assault trial – despite boyfriend Lewis' requests to drop the case.
She was said to have been determined to prove her innocence when the case eventually went to crown court, scheduled for March 4.
But she was also tormented by strict bail conditions which prevented her from contacting Lewis until after the trial – which her managers slammed as a "show trial".
YOU'RE NOT ALONE
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.
It doesn't discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It's the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it's rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You're Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let's all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others… You're Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
- CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858
- Heads Together, www.headstogether.org.uk
- Mind, www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393
- Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41
- Samaritans, www.samaritans.org, 116 123
Her team said she was “terrified” about the case coming to trial and footage of her arrest being played out in court.
The CPS is under pressure to explain why it went ahead even though she was vulnerable.
It has not provided details but has implied there was “other evidence” and the case was “in the public interest”.
A tribute to Caroline featured on Monday night's episode of Love Island.
Narrator Iain Stirling told viewers: “We are absolutely devastated by the tragic news that Caroline, a much-loved member of our Love Island family, has passed away.
“Our thoughts are with her family and friends at this dreadful time.
“Like many of you, right now we’re all just trying to come to terms with what’s happened.
“My only hope is that we can all try to be kinder, always show love and listen to one another.”
If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please call the Samaritans for free on 116123
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