Mysterious giant penises appear in Google Maps

Parks in Melbourne, Australia have a very specific problem that can only be seen from space.

They’ve all got giant dicks drawn on them.

Three separate parks in the northeast of the city have been adorned with phallic glyphs that can be seen on Google Maps.

Reddit user u/adrianmtb was the first to report the mysterious symbols before it was quickly picked up by local media. The giant penises have been compared to Peru’s famous Nazca Lines – ancient symbols that can only be appreciated from space. It was said that they were drawn to please the gods looking down on the Earth.

Well, thanks to Google we’re all gods now so we can all see the 133 meter cock that’s been hewn into T W Blake Park in Melbourne’s suburb of Preston.

Each park seems to contain several different members all drawn at different sizes.

Sadly, the groundskeepers appear to have caught up with the penises which was drawn at Hayes Park in the suburb of Thornbury. It’s all but faded now although if you look closely, you can still just make out the testicles by the edge of the lawn next to a lampost.

At present, we don’t know who is responsible for the mysterious cluster of giant willies, although all the sites are within a two mile range. Which leads us to suspect they were all created by the same people.

One theory is they were created in late 2018 by students leaving school as a last-ditch prank.

It appears the joke was lost on local councillor Susan Rennie who said she has dispatched people to remove them.

‘Darebin Council condemns this type of irresponsible vandalism on our parks and sports grounds. It is not a cheap joke – fixing the affected ovals is complex, costly and time-consuming,” she said in a statement.

‘Council is taking action to remove the graffiti, but it can take months for the grass to recover, during which time our community are left using substandard grounds which can be a safety hazard.’

Whoever orchestrated the elaborate plan may have been influenced by the Nazca Lines, which comprise 300 different designs made up of 10,000 lines.

The mystery continues.

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