STROKE victim Will Hurrell admits it will be tough watching rugby's return on TV — even though playing his beloved game could have killed him.
During lockdown, the Bristol Bears ace told his team-mates over Zoom he was retiring, despite recovering well from a stroke suffered after a massive collision in a match in January.
So starting tomorrow night, the rugby addict will sit down to watch all six of the weekend's Gallagher Premiership games as he plots his new career in coaching and helping players deal with mental health issues.
The former centre was injured during the match with Leicester Tigers at Welford Road.
Looking back at leaving the title-chasing Bears, Hurrell, 30, said: "The worst case scenario of playing on was death.
"Or I could have ended up in a wheelchair and struggling to speak. So having a daughter and my post-rugby ambitions, that was it.
"I just tried to melt a big second row, got my head on the wrong side and my brain smashed into the back of my skull.
"It will be tough watching. I think when I see the boys run out, that will be the hardest.
"It's tough talking about it right now, actually. I would never avoid it, though. I would rather be a little bit sad and enjoy watching it than just completely stay away from it.
"I'm really looking forward to it, but it will be very tough. Everyone at Bristol has been amazingly supportive, as well as guys from other areas and clubs I played with.
"I'm a rugby fanatic and I always had a bit of a game-plan in how I saw the rest of my career going but it's not turned out that way.
"The first few months after the stroke, I wasn't allowed to run or lift weights, so my dad got me out golfing with him. I'm really enjoying golf now — but I'm bloody awful.
"From what I have been told, after the game I couldn't speak and was throwing up. Luckily, there was an A&E nurse there and she took me to hospital.
"They did a CT scan and said I was fine, so I thought it was just a bad concussion. But I went downhill again and was sleeping for about 16 hours a day and throwing up in between.
Miss you little hurricane, can’t wait to see you soon x
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"I couldn't speak properly, my vision was gone, I couldn't write properly or do anything. I was basically like a child again and had to stay with my parents.
"It's sad as my older brother also had a stroke from a clot, so my parents have been through it twice. He lost the use of one side of his body at the time.
"Rugby was everything for me and I would have played until I was 80 if I could. I love it that much but it would have ended some day.
"So you can either let it consume you, or use it to spur you on to other stuff."
Despite such a life-changing moment, Hurrell has picked himself up and is taking part in a coaching camp and also plans to do some courses for personal trainers.
His road to recovery was quick, compared to others who suffered similar brain injuries.
So the former Leicester and England Under-20s star knows he is lucky to be back on his feet and with a new life to look forward to.
Today is the day I announce my retirement from rugby. I suffered a stroke after a tackle in the Leicester game which has ended my career. It is much sooner than I would have liked, I felt I had much more to give. Rugby has been everything to me and I will miss playing more than I can express but new challenges await which I can’t wait to start. Every club I have been at has left something special with me and that I can never lose. Leicester, Coventry, Stourbridge, Doncaster and Bristol, I love them all. I have made friends I will never lose and that is priceless. I also want to say an enormous thank you to Matt Leek and the RPA who have been unbelievable support through this time. Also Bristol who have given me 4 immense years, all the coaching, s snd c staff and medical staff that have helped me through this journey, the fans too have been amazing. And my parents, who have helped me through everything. Again thank you to everyone who has made my journey successful and enjoyable. My new instagram and my new journey (@williamharryhurrell). Thank you everyone, see you soon ✌? Hurricane x
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"I feel like I have recovered quickly but my memory is still terrible. It's really bad at the minute, actually," said Hurrell.
"I can only do one thing at a time now. So when I am sending an email, if someone tries to talk to me – I can't have that conversation at the same time.
"And memory wise, I have to note everything – I had to write down to call you because if I didn't, I would forget it.
"So that is tough getting use to that and having notes everywhere.
"It's just about adapting and I feel blessed as people have it a heck of a lot worse. I am very lucky I can still do a lot of stuff like coaching and training, which I love.
"Despite everything that happened, I feel really clear headed and calm. I can't wait to get stuck into coaching.
"I'm starting to feel fit and strong again. I get frustrated when I can't remember stuff and can repeat the same thing in the same conversation.
"So I feel quite lucky I am where I am now without too much drama."
However, there was also one opportunity to stay in the game and on the pitch that Hurrell politely declined.
He added: "I did get an offer to go into reffing – but I don't want everyone to hate me."
My little bubbas all together ❤️
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