For up to 16 hours a day, Ryan Matterson would just sleep.
He wanted to go outside, but he would struggle with sunlight. Noises around home were an aggravation. He wanted to know more about what was going on inside his head, but even the mere thought of researching it worked him up even more. The headaches rumbled on.
On the move: Ryan Matterson will play his last match for the Roosters this Sunday before joining the Tigers next season.
He went to one doctor, then followed by another specialist. They all said the same: just rest. So for eight weeks Matterson did nothing, hoping to remedy a severe concussion which kept him off the field for almost a third of this NRL season.
"It was frustrating," the Roosters back-rower said. "I was suffering migraines, light sensitivity, noise sensitivity, dizziness. I was fatigued and tired. It was a pretty scary time, but I had the support of the club. That made it really easy to recover.
"But I was sleeping 16 hours a day. I just felt really tired. Simple noise was giving me migraines and head pumps. I think after seeing quite a few people I was getting the same response, ‘time will heal this’. You just have to trust the process.
"Every time you get worked up about the situation you start feeling worse. I just had to be patient and trust the people around me and [that] God’s going to get me through this."
In another era, an NRL player sitting out seven rounds because of a concussion would be scoffed at. These days, the however-long-it-takes mantra is universal.
I was sleeping 16 hours a day. I just felt really tired.
Matterson is thankful the Roosters gave him as much time as he needed, returning to help the tricolours to the minor premiership and into Sunday's NRL grand final. At times, he might have wondered if he would play again this season.
Ask Matterson to remember how he suffered the concussion which triggered his two-month absence and he still can't tell you all the details.
It may have been a laughing matter to some watching – Matterson's head bore the brunt of a Kodi Nikorima kick against the Broncos, jokingly referred to as a "falcon" in rugby league parlance – but it had the 23-year-old fearing for his short-term future afterwards.
"I don’t remember [the incident]," Matterson said. "I remember getting off the line and then waking up on the ground.
"My partner was doing a lot of research because she was worried, but I didn’t want to get involved with that. If you start thinking about other things, you get worked up. I just wanted to isolate myself from all that and just chill out. I had to do that for eight weeks and then I came back as good as new."
Matterson will play his 60th and last NRL game for the Roosters in the grand final against the Storm at ANZ Stadium, but will no doubt have one very proud father in the stands. His dad Paul only played two games for Eastern Suburbs in the 1980s, but his words are carried everywhere by Matterson.
Before each game, Ryan pulls out a note from his wallet. It's almost falling apart. He will take it with him when he heads to the Tigers next year.
Be confident. Purpose in everything you do. Aggression. Back yourself. Make each play count. Harder you run, more hesitant the defence is. Be physical in defence.
"I still read it before every game," said Matterson, whose uncle Terry forged a long career with the Broncos while representing NSW. "It’s hanging on by a thread, I’ll have to laminate it soon.
"Dad’s at all my games and he’s my biggest fan as well as my mum. He’s my role model. Everything I know about rugby league my dad has taught me. He’s the ultimate father. He’s everything I want to become as a dad too.
"The support and drive he gives me is second to none and I definitely wouldn’t be in the position today if it wasn’t for him."
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