As for England’s disreputable top order — well those dunces ought to be up before the beak for tarnishing the art of batsmanship after their pitiful surrender against India at Trent Bridge.
At least Stokes showed some gumption. He is not merely expected to be the Ian Botham of this team but its Geoffrey Boycott too.
For more than four-and-a-half hours yesterday — the vast majority spent alongside centurion Jos Buttler — stoic Stokes dug in and ground out a 187-ball innings of 62.
It was probably the closest England have come to old-school cussedness all summer.
Stokes is England’s self-styled ‘Firestarter’, famed for pyrotechnics with bat and ball as well as a violent streak, which saw him face trial for affray in Bristol a fortnight ago.
But with Alastair Cook slipping towards retirement and skipper Joe Root having failed to score a Test century for a year, Stokes is currently England’s most technical, proficient batsman too.
Although the ginger all-rounder is capable of clobbering sixes in the Indian Premier League, the innings which delayed India’s inevitable victory until today was not untypical.
He is a proper player, who would be a fixture in England’s batting order even if he couldn’t bowl for toffee.
And perhaps all those torturous hours spent listening to lawyers have sharpened his powers of concentration.
When Stokes fell over trying to dispatch a full toss for his half-century, it was a rare false shot.
He was hardly troubled until he was squared up by Hardik Pandya and snaffled at second slip.
That came not long after Buttler’s own breezier innings had ended, along with a partnership of 169.
Stokes was cleared by a jury having already missed an entire Ashes series on account of his street-fight outside a Bristol drinking den last year.
Yet some time after the conclusion of this series — which England still lead with two to play — Stokes will have to defend himself all over again in a bid to avoid further punishment from a Cricket Discipline Commission.
Root will be praying his old mate isn’t suspended for the autumn tour of Sri Lanka because England’s batting cannot cope without him.
In turn, Stokes certainly owed Root after the ill-judged drinking session which has cast a shadow over the England team for 11 months.
For purely cricketing reasons, Stokes was lucky to be recalled for this Third Test.
Fellow all-rounders Sam Curran and Chris Woakes had a man-of-the-match award apiece from the first two matches of the series.
And the young left-armer Curran suffered a horribly harsh axing to make way for him.
When you’re set 521 runs to win a Test, as England were, what follows will always be an exercise in futility.
Thanks to Buttler, Stokes and some late resistance from Adil Rashid, England did at least manage to stave off complete humiliation.
Now with the glorious madness only cricket can provide, both teams must return this morning for the final England wicket to fall.
Yet England still managed two batting collapses, with rapid four-wicket flurries before and after the Buttler and Stokes show.
The top four — Keaton Jennings, Cook, Root and young Ollie Pope — all offered catching practice to the Indians in the morning session.
Pope has never batted above No 6 for Surrey. Yet he is being asked to go in at four for his country, an indication of how grave England’s problems are.
Jonny Bairstow — out for a golden duck yesterday — is set to miss next week’s Fourth Test at Southampton with a fractured finger, while Cook could take paternity leave for the birth of his third child.
Heaven knows what they’d do without Stokes as well.
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