It takes just six months to decide if someone is marriage material (38 days LESS than singletons think)
- Experts say the results shows we are faster to make a judgement than we believe
- On average, married people took just 172 days in their relationship to decide
- Single people by contrast estimated it would take 210 days – 22 per cent longer
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It is often said a hasty marriage is repented at leisure.
Now scientific research has found that when it comes to deciding on a spouse, we make our minds up much quicker than you might think.
On average, married people took just 172 days in their relationship – just under six months – before they were sure they wanted to tie the knot, a scientific study found.
Single people, by contrast estimated it would take 210 days – 22 per cent longer.
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It is often said a hasty marriage is repented at leisure. Now scientific research has found that when it comes to deciding on a spouse, we make our minds up much quicker than you might think (stock image)
We often fear that some choices are highly complicated – and will take a lot of time.
But scientists at the University of Chicago say their result shows that we are faster to make a judgement than we believe we are- and a lot less choosy – in a host of other areas, including whether we like a neighbour or not, or whether we like a particular style of art.
The researchers say that time estimates for decisions are being based on how much information we think we need to gather.
But as anyone who watched the TV show ‘Mr & Mrs’ will attest, often husbands and wives know very little about key interests of their partners, suggesting we gather very litte.
The findings did not just apply to finding a beloved companion for a lifetime of wedded bliss.
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One unfortunate consequence of the research has found that we are even quicker to take against someone. The research said we expect to wait until we have seen a person’s ‘bad’ side five times, but in reality we make our minds up after three bad impressions.
This also held true of the academic ability of a student, based on exam grades, good or bad experiences of neighbours, an athlete’s sporting prowess, and whether a gambler was ‘lucky’ or not.
The authors add that: ‘People consume far less information than expected before deeming things good or bad’
On average, married people took just 172 days in their relationship – just under six months – before they were sure they wanted to tie the knot, a scientific study found. Single people, by contrast estimated it would take 210 days – 22 per cent longer (stock image)
Another experiment looked at how long it takes someone to decide whether they liked or disliked a style of art or not.
Participants predicted they would need to see 16 paintings before they could form an opinion – on average they only needed to view three.
Deciding on whether a type of juice is to your taste or not was even quicker: people expected they might have to taste it three times – but just one taste was enough.
The authors conclude: ‘Minds are made up sooner than people think. Far from carefully weighing all possible evidence, good things strike us as good and bad things strike us as bad much faster than we expect to draw these conclusions.’
What are the ten steps to intimacy?
1. Learn to communicate without anger, blame, or defensiveness. Learn to see the situation from your partner’s perspective.
2. Learn to accept and love one another for who you are now, not who you might have been or would prefer the other person to be.
3. Don’t stick your head in the sand when you know problems exist. Face the truth —cheating or lying or any other deception has to be confronted head-on when it happens. Things don’t get better on their own; time doesn’t fix anything. It only makes the burden of lying heavier. You must do the work to reap the benefits.
4. Don’t treat your spouse with disdain; you’ve spent too many years together to end up in a cold war.
5. Redefine your values and what the relationship means to you.
6. Don’t act as though everything is perfect just to save face.
7. Laugh together and stop criticising.
8. Don’t be submissive. It only serves to create resentment.
9. Spend time together pleasing each other. Watch how fast you start feeling happier and how quickly your partner starts noticing you and treating you well.
10. Focus honestly on how you behave in the marriage, without ifs, buts, or maybes.
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