In hindsight, a discounted Mr Whippy would've probably gone down a treat.
Today, Wetherspoon protested against forking out so much VAT on booze with their Tax Equality Day, slashing prices on food and drink deals by 7.5%.
Currently, pubs must pay 20% VAT on all food and drink compared to supermarkets coughing up zilch.
READ MORE: 'I tried Wetherspoons hotel with iconic carpet and room as hard to find as pubs' loos'
As any self-respecting newspaper would, we at the Daily Star had to experience the cheaper menu for ourselves. It just so happened to collide with what weather experts are predicting to be the hottest day of the year… until Saturday.
So sunglasses on and Wetherspoon app at the ready, I took my seat at what I have every reason to believe is up there with the most expensive pub in the chain, The Ledger Building in Canary Wharf London.
My qualification for making such a claim? Well I've been to a fair few.
I'd hoped the 7.5% slashing of prices applied to beers on their own as I fancied finally being able to afford a lager with the four quid rattling around in my pocket.
No dice, the cheapest of the lot (Bud Light / Worthingtons) remained fixed at £4.13 and a staff member confirmed if I wanted a discounted drink, I'd need a meal with it.
All of a sudden I felt like 17-year-old Will from The Inbetweeners being told he'd need a carvery and accompanying adult for a glass of mead.
Have I mentioned how hot it was? I felt the sun sear through the thin layer of SPF lathered onto my forehead and my arms toast up in the litter-strewn cobbled beer garden.
I clearly wasn't the only one feeling the 29/30C heat as a girl desperately flapped a fan under the shade of a parasol on an adjacent table joined by her family.
Another bloke stepped into the pub past the columned porch with a white towel wrapped around his shoulders and sweat glimmering from above his brow.
If there's anything that has us Brits eyeing up a lunch time pint it's a splash of sunshine, and I refuse to ever admit it's "hot, might be too hot" to stay outside and not hurry in for the AC.
The thirsty among us weren't the only ones relishing the Docklands warmth. Pigeons were everywhere as though they'd taken a trip to Southend-on-Sea to learn the ways of chip-scavenging gulls.
A one-footed feathered fella caught my eye as it tried perching on a bin despite its limited balance.
When a group of workers abandoned their table of food wrappers and empty Guinness glasses, one interested bird appeared to multiply as its pals fearlessly flocked past punters' heads for scraps.
Back to the point at hand, and from the typically extensive menu I ordered an American burger valued at £7.02 and to get my money's worth, a pint of Corona.
How much would that ordinarily set one back at one of the UK's priciest Spoons? I hear you ask. Nearly as much as a burger and chips at £6.05.
Thanks to Tax Equality Day on top of the usual meal deal offered by Wetherspoon for a main and an alcoholic drink, I paid just £8.59 for the two of them.
Sound like a bit of a bargain, right? But only to the uninitiated. Just down the road, 1.6miles away to be exact at The Half Moon Weatherspoon in Mile End, the same order would've set me back a mere £6.28.
Now that's a Tax Equality Day I can get behind.
For more incredible stories from the Daily Star, make sure you sign up to one of our newsletters here
Source: Read Full Article