DEAR DEIDRE: THE guy I’m in love with told me he just wants a “friends with benefits” thing.
We met at the bus stop and I fell for him straight away. He says he likes me but he’s not looking for a relationship. He messages me but only to arrange meeting up for sex.
I love him so much and I’ve turned other guys down. I feel like I ought to be loyal to him, though he won’t be my boyfriend whatever I say.
I’m 21 and he’s 20. I wonder whether perhaps he’s afraid he’ll get hurt if he lets himself care and that’s why he says he prefers sex without strings. Am I wasting my time?
DEIDRE SAYS: I am sorry but, in a word, yes. He has been very clear but you are not hearing him, as it is not what you want him to say.
Tell him you are either a couple or not – and if you are not a couple, you won’t be having sex any more.
If he still won’t commit, you need to move on and find somebody else.
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