Telling my mum I am a lesbian will destroy her and probably our relationship

DEAR DEIDRE: TELLING my mum I am a lesbian will destroy her and probably our relationship.

I think it would be easier for her to accept me taking my own life. I am 24 and I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for three years.


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My friends know and are happy for us. I can be myself when I’m around them but I’m not openly gay to my family.

My 20-year-old brother is gay and finding out affected our mum badly. She doesn’t agree, but they have a close relationship now.

Our mum keeps saying she’s relying on me to give her grandchildren, which is something I do not want. 

The pressure is starting to affect my relationship with my partner and I don’t want to lose her.

DEIDRE SAYS: It seems your mum is anxious and she may suspect the truth.

But there is every chance she would be able to deal with it and be close to you again, as she is with your brother. Best be honest so you can get on with life and be happy, as you deserve. 

You can help find the right words through Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. See fflag.org.uk or call 0300 688 0368.

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