Sex with my ex is great, but I can't climax

DEAR DEIDRE: I AM having sex with my former boyfriend, but I can’t reach orgasm.

This has never happened to me before, with him or with any other partner, and it’s worrying me.

I am a 32-year-old woman and was with my boyfriend, 38, for five years until we split up two years ago.


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He then met someone else and moved in with her. We kept in touch because we have a son together.

A few months ago he came round to see our son and I suggested we have a drink.

He ended up staying for dinner and then we fell into bed together. I know it was wrong, but I couldn’t help myself.

The sex was great, just like old times, but I couldn’t climax.

The next time he came over, we had sex again – no strings, like the first time – and the same thing happened.

And it keeps happening.

I still fancy him as much as ever and everything seems to work physically, so what’s wrong with me?

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s likely your guilt is stopping you from reaching orgasm.

You say you know this is wrong – he has a partner and your son is around – so you are probably not relaxed, or you are holding back.

The brain is our biggest sexual organ, so even if a woman’s body is responding, her mind can stop her enjoying sex.

Perhaps it’s a sign that it’s best to stop the illicit encounters before his partner finds out, or you and your son get hurt.

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