DEAR DEIDRE: I AM having sex with my former boyfriend, but I can’t reach orgasm.
This has never happened to me before, with him or with any other partner, and it’s worrying me.
I am a 32-year-old woman and was with my boyfriend, 38, for five years until we split up two years ago.
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He then met someone else and moved in with her. We kept in touch because we have a son together.
A few months ago he came round to see our son and I suggested we have a drink.
He ended up staying for dinner and then we fell into bed together. I know it was wrong, but I couldn’t help myself.
The sex was great, just like old times, but I couldn’t climax.
The next time he came over, we had sex again – no strings, like the first time – and the same thing happened.
And it keeps happening.
I still fancy him as much as ever and everything seems to work physically, so what’s wrong with me?
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s likely your guilt is stopping you from reaching orgasm.
You say you know this is wrong – he has a partner and your son is around – so you are probably not relaxed, or you are holding back.
The brain is our biggest sexual organ, so even if a woman’s body is responding, her mind can stop her enjoying sex.
Perhaps it’s a sign that it’s best to stop the illicit encounters before his partner finds out, or you and your son get hurt.
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