My wife doesn't want foreplay or kissing and only has sex to pacify me

DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife doesn’t want foreplay, kissing or anything more than a “quickie”. She only has sex to pacify me. It’s like ­making love to a cardboard cutout.

I am 38 and she is 36. We have been married for ten years and have three children.

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We had an excellent and ­regular sex life until we got married, at which point things changed.

My wife has never been very tactile whereas I’m the opposite. I love ­cuddles and feeling close to her, but I can tell she hates me touching her.

The only time sex was a priority for her was when she wanted babies.

I love her with all my heart. She says the same, but sometimes I can’t help but resent her a little.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Only your wife can tell you for sure what’s putting her off. So ask her why she seems so uninterested in sex. For you, intimacy is a fundamental part of a happy relationship.

Does she not enjoy sex with you? In that case she needs to explain and show you what she likes and you need to learn more about female sexual responses.

Or could she be fed up over some other aspect of your relationship?

Perhaps she is stressed or depressed, which affects libido.

My support pack Has She Gone Off Sex? explains self-help and more.

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