My partner seems to forget I exist sometimes, I love him but it is so much effort

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner seems to forget I exist sometimes.

I’m a woman of 35 and he is 40. He’s only had one relationship before and that ended 15 years ago.

One day, he wanted to buy a necklace for his mum.

I took the day off work specially so I could go with him but he forgot, bought the necklace, called me to say he’d got it and went for lunch on his own though by then he knew I could have joined him.

Another day I arranged a babysitter for my seven-year-old and booked dinner out. He cancelled an hour before.

I love him but it is so much effort on my part.

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DEIDRE SAYS: He’s been used to acting as a lone agent for years rather than considering a partner’s feelings and, in many couples, it’s the woman who makes all the social plans.

If everything else is good in your relationship, don’t feel rejected but tell him when his self-centred acts make life difficult for you.

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