DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I met my husband 15 years ago, I was welcomed into the family, but I’ve never told him the threat his parents made the night before our wedding.
When they arrived at my hotel room, I assumed they were there to give their blessing.
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Instead they gave me an ultimatum. “If you marry our son, we are cutting him out of our will. If you love him, you’ll leave him.”
I decided to still go through with it, as no parent would really treat their son like that.
But they did. My father-in-law died in January, and when the will was read last month, it came to light that everything had been left to his sister.
My husband was heartbroken. Not only had he been rejected by his father, but he had been banking on using that money to buy a house.
Now he says he feels like a failure “in more ways than one”. He’s 39, I’m 34.
DEIDRE SAYS: An important first step is telling your husband about the ultimatum. He’ll respect your honesty, and likely the decision you made at the time.
Your husband may find it helpful to check out standalone.org.uk, who help anyone who becomes estranged from their family.
But it may also help him to speak with somebody to work through this hurt. My support pack on counselling will help.
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