My best friend is in an abusive relationship and I'm worried about him

DEAR DEIDRE: MY best friend is in a relationship with a controlling woman and I am worried about him.

He is 25, like me, and his girlfriend is 28. They have been together for a ­couple of years.


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At first she seemed lovely, and got on with me and all of his friends.

But we noticed she was starting to change him – making him dress differently, giving him fitness ­targets, putting him down in public, stopping him from seeing family and friends.

I tried to tell him it wasn’t a good relationship and he should finish it.

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He shouted at me that it was none of my business. He said I must be jealous, and now he’s stopped talking to me at all.

He has done the same to other mates. It’s clear he isn’t happy.

DEIDRE SAYS: Watching a friend make a huge mistake is hard. But you can’t make him end his relationship.

All you can do is keep the door open for him to come to you if and when everything falls apart.

Tell him you are there for him and to give you a call when he’s ready.

You could send him my support pack, Abusive Partner. Even if he doesn’t accept it now, he might start to realise there is a problem.

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