I get it that her shop (she sells chocolates, trinkets and cards) is her dream, but it’s unsustainable. I work for a large company putting in 10-hour days and the long commute half kills me.
I keep telling her that I won’t be able to keep up this level of energy for much longer, but she doesn’t listen.
Then there’s our family life, which is fractured and messy.
As she doesn’t approve of our daughter being married to her wife, we don’t see our girl much.
Our son is only 17 but prefers to live with his grandparents and I’m left feeling lonely and sex-starved because my wife simply isn’t interested in my happiness or acknowledging my needs.
I can’t remember the last time we made love or even shared a kiss, yet whenever I complain she accuses me of being unrealistic and selfish.
Occasionally, I go to her shop for a snoop around. I find boxes of surplus stock plus piles of bills.
I accuse her of burying her head in the sand, but all she does is tell me to mind my own business.
JANE SAYS: I get the impression that your wife is a proud woman who hates to admit that she’s struggling.
The problem is that if she doesn’t acknowledge her problems, then you and she could lose everything.
Does she really want that? Tell her today that you insist on hearing the truth in order to support her.
She’s not to think that she’s let you down, or done anything shameful, because all businesses, families and relationships go through good and bad times.
If her parents are involved, then they need to be invited in to some serious conversations too. Do you need to cut your loses by putting the shop on the market? As for your marriage problems, I can’t believe they’re not linked to the business.
Your wife has to hear that you are on her side and that you can get through your problems.
Surely being estranged from her son and daughter is a tragedy? If she’s suffering with her mental health, if everything has become too much for her to cope with, remember that her GP can help and that The Samaritans are on 116 123.
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