DEAR DEIDRE: WHY can’t I stop thinking about a boy I liked who always treated me badly?
We got together at school and it got sexual. I started to get feelings for him but he didn’t feel the same. He was really just using me for sex.
It was heartbreaking for me to see him go out with other girls. This went on for two years, on and off.
Finally I got him out of my life and moved on. I am 25 now and have had a brilliant partner for three years.
But last night I found my ex on social media and all my feelings for him came back. I miss him and long to go back, or for things to have turned out differently.
My partner and I love each other. I shouldn’t be feeling like this.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Our first loves have a special power to make us feel nostalgic for the dreams we used to have before they ran into real life.
We also rewrite history and give bad relationships happy endings.
He was a user. Do not stoke this bout of rose-tinted nostalgia. Stop looking at your ex’s posts, block him if need be and focus on the positives of your life now.
Beware taking your partner for granted.
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