DEAR DEIDRE: LAST night I had sex with our next-door neighbour.
I love my wife and kids but I can’t stop being unfaithful.
I’ve been married for 13 years and my wife is lovely, but our sex life has always been dull because she’s so shy.
When we do it, it’s always in the missionary position and always under the duvet.
The most I’ve seen of her body was when our children were born.
I’m 38 and a plumber. My wife is 36 and a full-time mum.
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My cheating started a couple of years ago when I was out with a mate one night in a nightclub and was well on my way to being drunk when a girl started coming on to me.
She started gyrating against me and after the dance we went outside and had sex.
I got away with it and that was the start of me having risky sex with strangers. I’ve cheated more than 20 times now, always on nights out.
I took things to another level yesterday when our neighbour knocked on the door to see if I was free to help her with a burst pipe.
MOST women feel pain during sex at some point in life and for some it is too intense to allow intercourse.
My e-leaflet Self-Help For Painful Sex explains causes and help.
Email me for a copy or private-message me on my Dear Deidre Facebook page.
She’s 29 and single, and she and my wife are friendly.
I went round and fixed the problem and she offered me a large whisky to say thank you.
One drink led to two and then to three and four. Suddenly we were both flirting and then we had wild sex in her bedroom.
This one was a bit too close to home. What if she tells my wife?
I’m now thinking about confessing everything to my wife before she finds out.
I’m disgusted with the way I’ve behaved.
I think I’m worse when I’ve been drinking.
Should I tell her what I’ve done or just cut down on drinking, keep quiet and become the husband that she deserves?
DEIDRE SAYS: Admitting cheating to your wife would bring misery all round and solve nothing.
Tell your neighbour you made a mistake and beg her not to spill the beans to your wife.
Chances are she won’t want to wreck their friendship along with your marriage.
Make a pact with yourself to cut your drinking right down or give up entirely.
You can find helpful guidance on drinkaware.co.uk.
A dull bedroom life at home is no excuse to cheat. Romping with strangers isn’t helping your own sex life so don’t risk your happy marriage for no-strings, dead-end flings.
Channel your energy into reviving what you have at home.
When did you and your wife last go out on a date together? When did you last take her away for a weekend?
She’s shy but you can work together to boost her confidence and help her feel more liberated in the bedroom.
My e-leaflet How To Light Her Fire will give you a good basis to start a change in your relationship.
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