I'm anxious at the thought of my toxic mother ruining my wedding day

DEAR DEIDRE: THE thought of my toxic mother ruining my wedding day is making me anxious.

She has put me down all my life, often reducing me to tears and she ruined my sister’s big day by saying her wedding dress looked cheap.

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I’m 36 and marrying my fiancé, 38, in the autumn.

I should be looking forward to it but all I can think about is how Mum might spoil things.

She is 60 and has always been bitter and angry.

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She criticises everything I say or do.

My fiancé says I shouldn’t invite her but how can I bar my own mother from my wedding?

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DEIDRE SAYS: Your mum has been emotionally abusive all your life, so it’s not surprising you’re feeling anxious.

But it sounds like you’ve only invited her out of duty and don’t really want her there.

There’s no law that you have to invite her.


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It’s your big day and if she can’t behave, she doesn’t deserve an invitation.

Contact familylives.org.uk (0808 800 2222) for advice.

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