I feel like half a man after finding out that I have a really low sperm count | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER trying for a baby for more than a year, fertility tests showed I have a really low sperm count, and my sperm aren’t very active.

I’m absolutely gutted and feel like half a man. 

My wife and I have been married for three years. I’m 43 and she’s 38.

We’ve been having lots of sex and each month when she gets her period, I can see how disappointed she is.

She thought she was the one with the problem, so it was a huge shock to both of us to find out it was me.

I feel like an utter failure. I know how much she wants a family – I do too – and I’ve told her that if I can’t give her children, maybe she should find someone else.

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She says she loves me  and that we will work out a way of overcoming this, but I don’t even want to have  sex any more. 

Seeing my friends with their children makes it even worse. I keep making excuses not to socialise. 

I can’t tell anyone about this, as I feel so ashamed. 


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DEIDRE SAYS: Many men are in your position. Unfortunately, they rarely talk about it.

You have no reason to feel ashamed. 

But there are things you can do both to improve  your sperm count and to have a baby. 

Losing any excess weight, stopping smoking, not drinking too much alcohol or taking drugs,  and doing regular exercise will all help.

You might also be able to have treatment through a fertility clinic. Please ask your GP to refer you to one.

It’s important you get emotional support too – contact  fertilitynetworkuk.org (0121 323 5025).

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