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One mum took to Reddit to recount an argument she had with her husband in the middle of Christmas dinner. She asked the forum “am I the a***hole?”, but was met with widespread support.
A new mum revealed that she had been experiencing body shaming at the hands of her husband after giving birth just months ago.
She told the forum that while he doesn’t use “hurtful” words, he makes “observations” about her body that make her feel under-confident.
He would comment that her clothes used to look good on her “but not anymore”.
He even looked at her waist and said he didn’t realise it could “get this wide”.
She explained that the comments weren’t a one off but actually went on for “months and months and months”.
The frustrated new mum tried to ignore the comments but couldn’t hold back any longer when her husband started to criticise her in front of their family.
Her sister-in-law had complimented the floral maxi dress she was wearing when her husband chimed in that it did look “nice” but that her “waist could get smaller”.
She revealed that an “awkward silence took over” and she was “absolutely fuming”.
Calling it the “last straw”, the mum shouted “at the top of [her] lungs” to shut up about her body – complete with an expletive.
Her husband was “absolutely speechless” by the outburst, while his family either stared at her or tried to get her to calm down.
The verbal altercation essentially ruined dinner, creating a tense atmosphere resulting in her husband “storming off”.
He ended up sleeping at a friend’s house but sent a “very nasty text” saying she had embarrassed him and made a scene.
He added that she should “get therapy” for her insecurities instead of “verbally abusing him and scaring his family”.
She looked to the forum for some answers: “Now I feel like an absolute idiot asshole and like I ruined Christmas for him and everybody with my over sensitivity. Am I the a***hole?”
The post has amassed an incredible 2,500 comments so far, with people flocking to support the new mum.
One user suggested: “I think the last thing your husband really wants is for you to ‘get therapy’.
“If you do, you’ll discover that he is an emotionally abusive bully and stop feeling guilty for refusing to put up with his BS.”
Another added: “‘Nothing hurtful’, you said?? ALL of that was hurtful. Husband is a jack*ss, you are not.”
One commented: “If he wants you to lose weight then do it! Drop whatever weight he comes out to and have the benefit of less mental stress to boot!”
A user advised: “Divorce him. He’s gaslighting you. His observations, as he calls them, are all direct insults. He is actively body-shaming you. Likely on purpose and fully aware of what he’s doing.
“He wants you back as you were before and fails to realise that bodies change. He is abusing you mentally, verbally. You simply reached the breaking point and let it out. Don’t start bottling up again. Rebuke him every time he says something, in front if everyone until he either learns or leaves. Or in other words, he’s shown his true colours.”
Those experiencing domestic abuse can reach out to Refuge’s National Domestic Abuse Hotline for support.
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