ADMIT IT: You missed your coworkers, even the quirky, kooky ones who drove you nuts with their office antics in the before times. Here’s how to reset those relationships and make the most difficult officemates your new favorite allies.
THE TRY-HARD
They show up early, stay late, and love to point out how much harder they work than everyone else.
WHY THEY ANNOY YOU
When other people set high and potentially unhealthy expectations for themselves, you might feel pressure to do the same to avoid looking bad, says clinical neuropsychologist Judy Ho, Ph.D.
JUST REMEMBER
Try-hards rely on external validation to compensate for low self-esteem, says Ho. Now more than ever, they may want to show they can perform.
HOW TO RESET
The next time they throw shade at your arrival or departure, try using “I” statements. Saying, “I can’t be there for my family when I come in as early and stay as late as you do” may help them see how their criticisms aren’t fair, says clinical psychologist Carla Manly, Ph.D.
THE SUPER SOCIALIZER
These extroverts love small talk, big talk, and gossip and get energy from interacting with others.
WHY THEY ANNOY YOU
For some people (maybe you?), too much chatter can be draining and even cause anxiety if you feel your space is being invaded, says psychiatrist Tracey Marks, M.D.
JUST REMEMBER
Super socializers may be extra revved up right now because they’ve missed contact. “Tolerating that irritation, to an extent, is a healthy skill to hone,” says clinical psychologist Paul Greene, Ph.D., as long as you set new limits.
HOW TO RESET
Put constructive feedback in a compliment/criticism sandwich, says therapist Nick Bognar. Say, “It’s great to see you, but I have to get back to work. Thanks for letting me focus.”
THE SENSORY OVERLOADER
They microwave fish for lunch, clip their nails at their desk, and talk and type super loud.
WHY THEY ANNOY YOU
Those who act obnoxiously around others may not be aware— or maybe don’t care—how rude they seem.
JUST REMEMBER
Sensory overloaders may have a sense of oblivious entitlement that makes it difficult for them to consider how their actions affect others, says Manly.
HOW TO RESET
To start, ask if they’d mind not doing the offensive activity, because it’s something you personally find distracting. If the person refuses, prepare to adapt. You can go out for lunch or relocate to a common area. “Protect yourself rather than trying to ix someone else’s behavior,” says Dr. Marks.
THE CURMUDGEON
They are grumpy complainers, and their latest gripe is being “forced” to come back to the office.
WHY THEY ANNOY YOU
Someone sharing excessive negative energy is exhausting, and it can be challenging “because they often have a point,” says Bognar.
JUST REMEMBER
Some people will miss work-from-home flexibility more than others, so while you may empathize with their frustration, don’t let them drag you down.
HOW TO RESET
Whateverthe issue, just ask, “Do you want some suggestions or are you just venting?” If they keep grumbling, acknowledge their feelings before exiting the conversation. “I hear you, commuting is the worst, but I have to get back to my work now.”
THE HAPPY-HOUR MONSTER
Whether it’s an assistant or an exec, they have a few drinks and all hell breaks loose.
WHY THEY ANNOY YOU
Obviously, seeing coworkers lose control—and the appropriate workplace filter—can get uncomfortable, says Bognar.
JUST REMEMBER
People tend to drink at the pace of those they’re around; they may also drink more because they’re insecure or uncomfortable.
HOW TO RESET
Trying to help a drunk colleague— especially a supervisor—can become awkward quickly, and it might not be in your best interest to get involved, says Bognar. Your options: Talk privately and tell them they’ve probably had too much and should switch to coffee, or just leave so you have plausible deniability.
A version of this article appears in the October 2021 issue of Men’s Health.
Source: Read Full Article