I’m not a huge make-up girl and I don’t spends ages in the morning doing my maquillage – and it probably shows too. Apart from a little foundation to even out pasty skin tones, I’ve had my eyebrows tattooed on by Kim O’Sullivan, so all I need to go out and face the world each morning is to brush my gruaige and apply a little lippie or SPF.
A creature of habit, my default is lipstick with a red tone, but bright rouge lips can be a little too much first thing in the morning, so recently I tried out some of those popular nude colours.
Unfortunately the hugely popular ‘Walk of Shame’ shade just makes me look ill. Clearly those caramel tones don’t suit me, so it’s red or dead.
Anyway, last week I found myself at a joyous occasion and celebrating with a glass of champagne. It’s not my go-to tipple because the bubbles just don’t like me, but in the spirit of the day, I went with the flow. Midway into a conversation with a lady I’d just met, she leaned forward and very discreetly whispered: “You have lipstick on the tip of your nose.”
It took me by surprise. How did that happen? For once, I’d actually applied my lipstick very carefully that morning and even used a lipstick brush. Usually, I just guess where my top lip starts and finishes, left to right. I was all flummoxed by the nose thing and dashed off to investigate. Sure enough, there it was, a flash of orangey lippie striped across the tip of my nose. Not being a regular Champagne drinker, it hadn’t happened to me before, but I quickly realised the cause. I was drinking the champers from a narrow-topped flute glass, and after I’d taken a sip, had put my glass down and then drank from the other side. So lipstick on the glass transferred across and gave me a loud zebra strip of lipstick.
Usually women are kind enough to tell you when you have lipstick on your teeth, transferred on to your pearly whites from an overly-generous application on your upper lip. And if they don’t actually tell you, they will quietly signal to you, efficiently gesticulating with a silent finger swipe movement in front of their mouth. It’s a girly thing just like when you’ve come out of bathroom with your skirt stuck in your knickers. But how far should they go in commenting in other make-up mistakes and facial features?
My lippie nose thing was funny, a pure accident over some exceptionally good Tattinger might I add, but should you dare to tell someone that their foundation needs to be blended into the hair line or that their winged eyeliner has smudged disastrously at the corner of their eye, or that they would be fools to get their gap-tooth front teeth filled in with veneers, which is another conversation I’ve been having/or not having with a friend of a friend.
Guys will regularly tell other bros that they are ‘flying low’ or that the laces on their hero Balenciaga trainers are open, but what about telling someone they have food stuck in their braces just because you can’t bear look at it any more?
I learned a long time ago not to comment about people’s faces after a disgraced pal confessed how she told a colleague that she had some chocolate powder on her upper lip after their mid morning mochas only to be told that the ‘chocolate’ was, in fact, a mole!
Awkward or what! Wouldn’t you just die and want the earth to swallow you up whole, but then people can get a little too verbal, especially if they have a few drinks on them.
Sarah Jessica Parker was a poster girl for people with chin moles, but hers vanished, somewhere between two Sex And The City movies. Former supermodel Cindy Crawford faced down model chiefs and refused to get her famous lip mole removed.
She was slagged at school by boys who used the same ‘chocolate’ line, but a wise mother pointed out that she knew what her mole looked like but what would a scar look like? And Cindy’s revenge? Well she only landed 400 glossy magazine covers during her career. Unique points of difference are always good – when they’re not lipstick on your nose.
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