A testicle operation has left me unable to have sex and I feel less of a man – The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: AN operation has left me in constant pain whenever I try to have sex and it’s making me feel less of a man.

I had surgery ten years ago to remove a lump on a testicle which caused nerve damage. I am 31 now.


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I take a range of painkillers. Sex is rare because most of the time I can’t get an erection and even if I do, the pain in my testicles means I can’t reach climax.

I know it is frustrating for my girlfriend because she wants sex, but I am too useless to do anything about it. She is 29 and she deserves a decent love life.

I worry my girlfriend will leave me if I don’t shape up and I wouldn’t blame her if she did. I see no light at the end of the tunnel because the doctors have all said that there is nothing that can really be done for me.

I feel worthless and ashamed.

DEIDRE SAYS: That is devastating and, of course, intercourse has a special significance for most couples, but please remember that you don’t need an erection to arouse your girlfriend and give her an orgasm.

I realise that doesn’t solve your problems with frustration but a sex therapist might be able to help you find a compromise solution.

To find a qualified sex therapist near you, contact the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (cosrt.org.uk).

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