Baby announcements, while delightful, can also light competition, especially between people with a tense history. That’s what transpired when one Redditor accidentally overshadowed his brother’s big moment.
“AITA for calling my brother pathetic for the way he reacted to finding out my wife is pregnant?” one man asked on Reddit’s AITA subgroup. Here’s what went down: The original poster (OP) and his wife planned to announce their pregnancy at a family dinner, however before they could do so, the man’s brother and his wife shared that they were also expecting a baby. Out of respect for his brother (and acknowledging their mutually competitive childhood history), the OP and his wife kept quiet.
However, the brothers’ 97-year-old grandmother knew better. “She has what I call ‘granny senses’ because then she points to my wife and says ‘You’re pregnant too, aren’t you?’…we are caught off guard and there was no denying it anyways so we said yes.”
Although the double pregnancy thrilled the family (“My mom’s crying,” wrote the OP), he noticed this brother was “fuming.”
“He asks us how far along and then gets mad since his wife is only a few weeks,” he explained. “Because that means we’ll be the ‘first’ to have kids out of all our siblings. Accuses me of trying to ‘one up’ him because I knew they were trying to have a baby. The whole thing felt so ridiculous.”
The OP released his anger. “I finally got fed up with his snarky attitude a half hour later and told him he’s so pathetic getting worked up over something stupid instead of being happy that he’s going to be a father,” he wrote. “Or that our kids will be close in age and will have someone to play with. Suddenly I was the bad guy invalidating his disappointment by calling him names.”
The brother and sister-in-law stormed out, claiming the OP “ruined their moment.” Now, a week later, the brothers are on silent terms and the OP is ruminating over whether he’s an a**hole, although he had good intentions.
Most Reddit commenters sided with the OP since he was backed into a corner. “Lying would’ve been not an option at this moment,” one noted. Others added, “If you tried to defer answering everyone would be curious anyways” and “Grandma called it as she saw it and you weren’t trying to steal his thunder.”
And many slammed the brother for pettiness. “Being competitive about birth announcements, which should only be met with joy, is ridiculous,” someone wrote. “Your brother should have congratulated you and your wife instead of acting like a petulant child.” And someone speculated that the brothers’ animosity would eventually affect the children: “Unfortunately, your child and their cousin will likely be the next targets of his competition. ‘Oh little Michael is barely rolling? My Anthony has been rolling for weeks!!’”
One reader played devil’s advocate, though — and seems to have the grownup-in-the-room POV: “OP also talks about how his brother has been competitive since they were kids and then admits he was too. They’re BOTH competitive with each other. OP, it would’ve been better to validate his feelings, state you had no intention of bringing it up tonight and your sorry for stepping on their moment but didn’t want to lie when grandma was so direct. Now you should state the above but include that you’re sorry for calling him names and you really just want to celebrate each other.”
That sounds like a good plan — and a good way for two dads-to-be to start modeling good behavior for their future kids!
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