As I type this, my 4-year-old child is alternating between climbing my body and dismounting only in order to whack my ass repeatedly with an empty paper towel roll while chanting “BONK! BONK!” and laughing hysterically. This, folks, is parenting in the time of coronavirus school closures. At least, it is for the majority of us parents who are trying to eke out a full WFH day while also scrambling to feed/entertain/stop-from-screaming any number of our small spawn…all day long. For our favorite celeb parents, however, it’s a much more delightful time. At least according to Instagram.
Many of the famous moms and dads we often look to on the grid for parenting inspo — from surprisingly relatable witticisms to unsurprisingly unrelatable elaborate kids birthday parties — are doing the right thing (hear that, Nashville? THE RIGHT THING) and staying home this week in order to practice social distancing and hopefully stem the spread of COVID-19. But, of course, these are parents with a lot more resources (read: $$$) than most of us. They are also people who, unlike parents who work as, oh I dunno, journalists (hi!), are not trying to eke out their entire normal 9-hour work day from home while quarantined with one or more small and loud (oh, so very loud) children vying for their attention.
But hey, if you can’t be them…ogle them? Is that how the saying goes? Maybe not. Regardless, the celeb parents below are doing quarantine right — much to our envy. Here’s how the parental glitterati are spending their cozy school-free days at home this week.
They’re watching TV in their surprisingly clean living room.
Okay, Haylie Duff says her house is “a toy covered mess” but we’re not buying it. This place looks like a pretty damn well-curated and well-organized living room with a couple kids and toys in it. Meanwhile, my house looks like it was hit by a tornado. Oh, wait — it was. (Too soon?!)
They’re bribing their children for spa treatments.
Brooklyn Decker, you are my new hero. Too bad my kid only accepts payment in gummy bears and all the grocery stories are fresh out.
They’re reading children’s books written by…them.
Sure, most parents can get down with a nice old-fashioned family storytime. But how many of us parents have written children’s books ourselves? Yeah, we’ll leave that to the Tiffani Thiessens of the mom world.
They’re practicing some restorative yoga.
Apparently Jenna Dewan is also the owner of a shockingly pristine living room. Oh, to be little Everly upside-down on that plush beanbag… we’d gladly swap quarantine days with her any day.
They’re wearing coordinated PJs by the fire.
Um, can we please go socially distance at NPH’s house instead? This looks way cozier than my living room, where my child is attempting to “plant” blueberries into “his garden” aka the rug right now. BRB, gotta go take a break to cry — I mean, parent — for five minutes. Back soon.
For more celeb-parenting inspo, check out these famous folks who are getting co-parenting right.
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