Single mum sparks fiery debate about changing kid’s name after split with hubby

If you marry someone and have a baby with them, you obviously hope it’ll last forever – but things don’t always go to plan.

A newly single mum has sparked a fiery debate after admitting she wants to change her child’s name as her husband dumped her.

The Mumsnet user took to the parenting forum to explain that she is about to get divorced and change back to her maiden name – she says she wants to change their one-year-old daughter’s surname to hers too.

She wrote: "I don’t see why she has to have a different name to me for the rest of her life.

"Her father has basically decided to leave us because we’re too much hassle. He has said to me he finds being a dad stressful and he wants to focus on himself."

The mum pointed out that her ex would likely be "offended" and she knew she had to ask his permission to make the change.

She added that she loves being a mum and doesn’t see why she should lose her family name connection because she "married the wrong man".

Outraged mums replied to the post, calling her ex a "d**k" and a "tosser" for his behaviour.

One wrote: "If he’s really said he wants out because he wants ‘Me Time’ and you’ll be the main carer of [your daughter] then yeah why shouldn’t she have your last name?"

Several Mumsnet users sympathised with the post, saying that they too "would want it changed" in similar circumstances.

Others strongly disagreed and didn’t think it was fair, with one writing: "Don’t change your daughter’s identity to mirror your relationship status. It’s her name," adding that it has "nothing to do with her".

Another wrote: "Why does your name trump his? Why is it not ok for your daughter to have a different name to you, but ok for him? Surely she should share your names."

Read More

The cost of divorce

  • 4 big break-up myths debunked
  • Break up and don’t end up broke 
  • New ‘divorce courts’ just focus on money
  • Get a cheap, less stressful divorce 

Several other mums suggest double-barrelling the surname as a compromise, but pointed out that if she were to marry again she may have to change her daughter’s name for a third time.

One wrote: "Double barrel sounds good in theory if you can get your soon to be ex’s permission.. But I think you need to think ahead. If you were to marry again in the future would you take your new spouse’s name?"

According to Deed Poll, mums may be able to change a child’s surname by themselves if the father is absent or his whereabouts unknown – but otherwise permission is needed.

Source: Read Full Article