In case you didn’t know, nobody goes to kids’ birthday parties for the food. Or the entertainment. Or even for a few minutes alone with the birthday kid. You go to a wild, sugar-infused party with tons of little kids for two reasons: because A) you love the child or B) you want your own kid to have fun (and burn off some energy on the weekend). That’s it.
Most parents know this, which is why it was a little surprising that one mother-in-law on Reddit expected something totally different when she showed up to her grandkids’ birthday party.
This mom explained the whole situation on the “Am I The A—hole?” subreddit. She said that she threw a birthday party for her 4- and 5-year-olds, whose birthdays are just two weeks apart. This party, which would have a lot of little kids, featured every kid’s favorite foods: pizza and nachos made from “that big gigantic can of cheese from the grocery store. That is honestly not even cheese at all.”
She also ordered cupcakes (with buttercream icing!) and served it with sodas, punch and water. “This is what the kids wanted,” she reiterated. And as a mom with kids of that age group, yeah, I can confirm that this is exactly what kids want. Sounds perfect.
Unfortunately, her mother-in-law didn’t agree. “My MIL says she has food allergies, but it seems as it’s only when it’s convenient to her. As in I have seen her eat the same junk I was serving at the state fair or eating Costco pizza,” the mom explained. Knowing this, the mom planned ahead, asking her husband “to let his mom know what we were serving so that she could either eat before or bring something to eat or I could grab her a salad or something at the pizza place.” She went on, “He did call her and tell her and she said what we had was fine.” So nothing can go wrong, right?
The mom revealed that at the birthday party, her MIL asked her “what ingredients are in the nacho cheese.” Huh?! It’s bright yellow, cheese-related sauce, ma’am, what do you think? Just don’t eat it at all if you don’t like it.
After telling her MIL it was a “big can of cheese,” her MIL became completely unreasonable. “She then asks me to dig the can out of the the full trash so I can tell her what is actually in it,” the mom wrote. “I refuse. I told her if she wanted to dig through the trash she could. She just pouted and didn’t eat anything.”
Good for her for sticking up for herself! But it’s so weird that she has to. I mean, it’s a kids’ birthday party, not a formal dinner party!
But it wasn’t just the canned cheese that was grinding her mother-in-law’s gears. Everything else was a problem, too. “Then we didn’t have the soda she liked … so I offered her a bottle of water, which again was not the kind she liked,” the mom continued. “The chips were not the pita chips she likes so they were a no go too. It came time for cake, and after singing, she wanted to know where the cupcakes came from. Then proceeded to claim that we should have got the ones from Whole Foods, as they didn’t have as much preservatives in them.”
What is it with mother-in-laws and thinking they have better cake? It’s just weird. The mom was “annoyed” and told her MIL: “if she wants to have a party for the kids and serve certain foods, and drinks. That she was welcome too and pay for it herself, until then I would be getting what the kids asked for.”
She responded by getting up, leaving, and complaining that the mom didn’t serve food “all guests could eat.”
“She is now demanding an apology, My husband is saying I was rude to his mom and I should apologize,” the mom added. “I refuse because. This party was for the kids and I bought kid food that they wanted and that I could afford. She was also warned ahead of time on what I was serving.”
Props to her for standing her ground with her mother-in-law — especially in front of everyone!
“Not the kind of bottled WATER she likes?” one person wrote. “Give me a break! That’s not food allergies, that’s just being super high-maintenance and annoying.”
Another said, “NTA. It was a party for small children. She needs to get over herself.”
“Adults who show up to a kids party expecting nice adult-style food and complaining when they don’t get it are AHs,” one person wrote. “The party IS FOR THE KIDS, it will have KID FOOD, if the KIDS ARE HAPPY the party is going well, adults shouldn’t complain!”
After receiving tons of responses to the Reddit, the mom shared an update. It actually clears up one thing about the MIL: why she complained after she was pre-warned about the food.
“I showed my husband this post, and he admitted he never told his mom about the menu, because he didn’t want to deal with her complaining about it all week,” she wrote, and are you kidding me?
“He thought if she just showed up, she wouldn’t say anything about it since there was a ton of other people there,” the mom continued. As if that has ever worked before in the history of mothers-in-law.
He also wanted her to “apologize to keep the peace.”
“I told him that I would not apologize and that he needed to tell his mom she seriously crossed the line and was rude,” she wrote. “He says that it will just blow over. I said she is not allowed to come over until she can sincerely apologize for the way she acted. Now he’s annoyed with both of us because ‘He shouldn’t have to choose between his wife and his mom.’”
One person pointed out that now she deserves an apology from her husband, too. “Your husband lied to you and thus directly caused this,” they wrote. “Sure, it sounds like your MIL would have been just as obnoxious even with the heads up, but part of your frustration was that she already knew about the menu. She didn’t. Because your husband lied to you. He needs to apologize to you, then to his mother and tell her exactly what happened: he lied to you about telling her about the menu, which led to you being irritated at her criticisms. Her not being prepared for the food is no one’s fault but his.” Couldn’t agree more.
It sounds like this mom threw an awesome birthday party for her kids, and all the drama could have been avoided if the husband had done what he said he would, and the mother-in-law had eaten beforehand. At least it seems like the kids had fun, and that’s the important part!
Before you go, check out these wild stories about Reddit’s most horrific mother-in-laws.
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