Mum left ’embarrassed and ashamed’ by stranger over her daughter’s hairstyle

Who actually enjoys unsolicited advice? Especially when it comes from an interfering stranger?

The answer is most likely to be "no one" – yet mums are both particularly sensitive to it AND prone to receiving it.

Of course, some of it is well-meant and sometimes there may even be a nugget of wisdom buried very deeply…

However more often than not, it’s annoying and innappropriate .

Maya Vorderstrasse found herself on the receiving end of some unsolicited advice from an elderly stranger when she took one of her Irish twins , Hazel, to the doctor’s.

Her big parenting "error"?

She put Hazel’s hair up in a ponytail.

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I’ve had one of the worst weeks of my life: both kids with worst case scenario HFM, double ear infection, Husband rushed to the ER for other reasons, bad news after bad news coming from everywhere. I wanted to punch a wall to let out all my anger and frustration at seeing my babies burning up, simultaneously sobbing in pain, breaking out in blood blisters, and my husband so debilitated. When Tim went to the ER, Jesus was strong through my weakness. I DIDNT HAVE A SINGLE PANIC ATTACK. I didn’t catch the viruses. I was still strong. I have been able to nurture, love and care for my family on almost no sleep. This is me right now: no make up, kids still in pjs, Tim still recovering, but it is the first day that my kids woke up with a smile on their faces in a whole week. I couldn’t not register this moment. Now the only thing I am afraid of is opening my washer with 5 day old wet laundry ??‍♀️? #IHopeThereIsNoMold #IfThereIsIllJustGoShoppingBecauseIDeserveToTreatMyself #IHaveSeenTrollsOver20TimesThisWeek

A post shared by M A Y A ? (@mayavorderstrasse) on Jul 10, 2018 at 11:44am PDT

"THE NERVE of some people," she began in an Instagram post .

"I went to the pediatrician with Hazel and this woman sitting across from me in the waiting room got up, walked over to me and snarkily said:

"’You shouldn’t put your daughter’s hair up in a ponytail. When you take it down, it will rip her hair out, it will never grow back and she will be bald."

It’s quite a bold statement to come out with and while the stranger left it at that, she left Maya fuming and humiliated.

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THE NERVE of some people: I went to the pediatrician with Hazel and this woman sitting across from me in the waiting room got up, walked over to me and snarkly said: “You shouldn’t put your daughter’s hair up in a ponytail. When you take it down, it will rip her hair out, it will never grow back and she will be bald.” (WHAT?!) Just like that she got up and left, leaving me embarrassed in front of strangers and feeling horrible about myself. I felt the need to explain myself, and that they all needed to know that I use a certain type of rubber band, and I don’t make it tight and that I’m so careful but GUESS WHAT? I don’t owe her ANYTHING. Her erroneous judgement will not guilt me into thinking that I am a bad mother. She doesn’t know me. There is a difference between caring for the safety of a child when they are in actual danger, and to shame and humiliate a mother because you think you know better than her. Don’t spread hate. Be supportive. Be nice. Be positive and encouraging. That’s what we need as a community of women working so hard to raise decent human beings. As this platform allows me to reach people, I will ALWAYS use my voice, and trust me… I can be loud! #momsagainstmomshaming #HearMyWomanlyRoar #LookAtUsRockingOurPonytails #DoILookLikeAriannaGrandeYet

A post shared by M A Y A ? (@mayavorderstrasse) on Jul 16, 2018 at 11:49am PDT

She continued: "Just like that she got up and left, leaving me embarrassed in front of strangers and feeling horrible about myself.

"I felt the need to explain myself, and that they all needed to know that I use a certain type of rubber band, and I don’t make it tight and that I’m so careful but GUESS WHAT? I don’t owe her ANYTHING."

While the stranger’s words may have hurt Maya, she had the support of plenty of other mums.

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Yesterday was a very difficult day, but there was a beautiful silver lining. Zoey caught the handfootmouth virus, so I asked my husband to come home from work because Zoey needed medical attention. I had to make the difficult decision of leaving Hazel with Tim so I could take Zoey to the doctor. I had NEVER left Hazel for more than 2 hrs, but this time I knew in my mom heart that it was the right thing to do. I was terrified because she wouldn’t be able to nurse, and I’m the only one who could comfort her. Well… I was out with my sick toddler for about 5 hours. Hazel had the time of her life with Tim. She slept, ate, played and DID ??NOT??CRY. I was always so scared to fully trust my husband and let go of my control and guilt, but the time came and I know it was from God. I feel light. I feel closer to my husband, proud of my children, and proud of myself. Trust your partner, and trust that the great job you’re doing with your children is working. Now sorry, Tim… You’ll be staying alone with the kids for a few hours more often because it’s about dang time I get a haircut and a pedicure. OHHH IM SO EXCITED! ??‍♀️??‍♀️?‍?‍?‍?

A post shared by M A Y A ? (@mayavorderstrasse) on Jul 4, 2018 at 11:37am PDT

"When they go to school you have no choice but to put it in ponytails. No bald girls at our school," one wrote.

"And I have been wearing mine in a ponytail practically 24/7 for the last eight years (bar a short haired phase). The woman was an idiot."

Another added: "Oh maaaan! The looks I would have given her…Mind your own business lady!!!"

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