Jamilah “Milah” Mapp and Erica Dickerson are the bold and brilliant best friends behind the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast. They say their show is basically the love child of Oprah and Howard Stern, and honestly, we couldn’t say it better ourselves. Since 2018, the moms have been doing more than just recording a podcast (and recently publishing a book!) — they’ve been creating a thriving community of moms who also want to be real and honest, embracing the good vibes, bad choices, and everything in between.
While a lot of parenting discussions revolve around how to care for your child, much of the focus on Good Moms Bad Choices is on how to care for yourself. Milah’s favorite piece of advice for moms is to prioritize themselves and their own pleasure, and Erica cosigns that statement, telling moms to “follow their bliss always.”
“I know a lot of people have this misconception that pouring everything you have into your child is being a good mom, but allowing yourself to be on the back burner is not a resolution to being a better parent,” Milah tells SheKnows. “It kind of defeats the purpose and makes you not a good mom when you’re not really pouring into yourself. We just really advocate for moms and women to prioritize who they are outside of motherhood and who they were before motherhood and to continue to water those parts of themselves, so that they can still have an identity outside of their kids.”
Ahead, Milah and Erica share the parenting essentials that not only support their families but also help them empower themselves. Because sometimes being a “good” mom looks like investing in alone time (“Get to know how to hear your own voice. Then make your own rules about motherhood and womanhood,”); sometimes it looks like surrounding yourself with people (“Having a tribe as a new mom is tremendously important if you don’t already have one. Treat making friends like dating. Put effort into nurturing new friendships. It can be awkward, but women need each other,”); and sometimes it looks like having a new read and a bulk pack of shea butter.
The podcast I’m listening to right now
Erica: Deeply Well with Devi Brown. She’s just always interviewing really interesting women and men with different perspectives and she herself is a healer and so I just learned a lot just from her and listening to her and her guests. She’s someone that really inspires me in the healing space.
Milah: Ménage À Mind is a wellness podcast, but it’s more centered around therapy sessions and male healing and I thought it was pretty interesting. There’s also a podcast called She Really Had a Baby that I really enjoyed by another mom of ours called Jessica Rose. And it’s pretty funny but honest and so it’s pretty relatable
The book I’m currently reading
Milah: Shake Your Soul Song by Devi Ward Erickson is a book centered around Tantra, learning about Tantra, and she’s actually been one of our guests on the show. It’s an interesting read.
Erica: Sacred Woman by Queen Afua. She’s a holistic wellness expert and is teaching women about womb health, womb care, and how to tap into yourself through your diet, rituals, and ceremonies. She’s also been on our show. She’s a legend, she’s an icon, she’s pretty amazing, and has been really impactful in our space.
And then there’s our new book, A Good Mom’s Guide to Making Bad Choices. It’s a guide on how to care for yourself throughout motherhood. Whether you’re pregnant or have a child that’s off to college, this book is about caring for yourself as a caretaker.
The book our kids are obsessed with
Both our kids love Mommy Can You Rap Me a Bedtime Story by Jessica Rose. The images look like them and it’s easy to follow along, easy to read, and it’s fun.
The beauty product we never leave the house without
Beauty Blender Bounce Foundation and a beauty blender work together simultaneously. They last forever and ever. They’re beautiful and easy, and we can’t live without them.
The app that makes our lives as parents easier
Our Discord community is our support and venting space. We have a pretty big community of moms on Discord. Our tribe is all over the world. There’s a channel for different cities so moms can meet up and find their tribe of women like us who want to make mom friends. They can have a space to chat, give each other advice, and find other friends that may be closer to them. So it’s a really nice community and space to get things off your chest and just ask for support in certain areas because momming is hard.
The music we listen to as a family
Milah: Doja Cat and Beyoncé’s Black Is King. The whole family gets involved in dance parties.
The parenting accounts we follow
@thisisjessicarose, @mindfulfee, and @thatchickangel are all real, raw, and humorous accounts that aren’t perfectly curated and make us feel more human and less alone in motherhood.
The television show we watch with our kids
Abbott Elementary. You can only take so many kiddie shows and movies.
The subscriptions I have for my kids
Erica: We try to maximize interactive activities and experiences. We offer our children a “travel subscription.” So we are committed to taking our kids on experiential trips throughout the year, so we invest in that instead of a traditional subscription like, you know a toy subscription. We really enjoy getting out of the house doing hiking and things like that. So we try to limit the subscriptions.
The skincare products my family loves
Erica: Alaffia Whipped Shea Butter and Coconut Oil. I love it. I buy it in multiple packs anytime I go to Whole Foods. I buy it in bulk for me and my daughter. I travel with it everywhere I go.
Milah: I also like Affirm Skincare, which is all-natural and it’s empowering. They have affirmations on all of their products that I really enjoy.
The non-screen-related toy that keeps my kids occupied
Milah: My daughter Luna really likes art. She’s naturally gravitated towards that and even when I give her limited screen time she’s looking at sketches that she can learn to draw from YouTube. So that’s a way to integrate both.
The clothing brand that helps me ‘mom’ in style
We love Vintage Souls and also our own clothing line. It’s cute, comfy, and easy for the on-the-go woman. Our “Sex, Weed, Wellness” long sleeve is one of our best sellers. We obviously advocate for wellness through pleasure and sex and weed are part of how we experience pleasure in our everyday life and we normalized that in our community. It’s really cute it goes with everything super comfortable and fashionable. Pretty much all of our merchandise we really pride ourselves in our on our merch store. We really wanted to create a line that moms and women just in general can wear every single day and feel confident and comfortable.
To get even more parenting recommendations, read about the other stylish moms featured in our Momsessed series.
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