A rainbow baby is a baby born after a miscarriage, loss, stillbirth, or infant loss. A lot has been written about the beauty of being pregnant with a rainbow baby, which is likened to the light after a storm. But what is not as frequently talked about is how emotionally challenging a rainbow pregnancy is.
As brave mom Chaunie Brusie shared with Glamour, her pregnancy loss experiences were traumatic, and she is not alone. Grieving a pregnancy loss is a devastating process that changes many women and families forever (via The Mayo Clinic). In fact, one in six women who experienced an early miscarriage will feel symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, according to New Scientist. So, if you are expecting post-loss you may feel excited and happy, but it is also completely normal to be afraid, depressed, and stressed.
A rainbow pregnancy brings a storm of mixed emotions
Brusie confesses to feeling guilty over any feeling that wasn’t pure elation about becoming pregnant after her losses. She summarizes what so many moms experience during a rainbow pregnancy by writing, “Even though rainbow babies are painted in an idealized, glowy, romanticized way, for moms who have experienced loss the reality can be a little different.”
Indeed, we are used to seeing beautiful images of moms clutching their rainbow babies, surrounded by colorful backgrounds, and looking like peaceful goddesses. Sure, those moments exist, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying a pregnancy post-loss, or reveling in giving birth to a healthy baby. But the crushing fear of losing another baby that an expectant mom who has suffered through loss can feel is just as real.
If you are pregnant with a rainbow baby, know that as isolated as you feel, you are not alone. As many as 10 to 15 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage (via March of Dimes). It’s also important to find the support you need. Make sure your doctor is aware of your history, and can be sensitive to your specific fears and anxieties (via Verywell Family). Speaking with a grief counselor or therapist can also help you manage your feelings, and enjoy a more relaxed, and healthy pregnancy.
Finally, remember, it’s normal to worry after what you’ve been through. And, you are so strong.
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