Miscarriage was never something Carrie Underwood anticipated happening to her — especially three times in a two-year span.
"It sounds bad when you say it, but it's one of those bad things that [you think] happens to other people, you know what I mean? Like so many things in the world, it's not something that you ever envision yourself having to deal with," the country singer, 37, says in the second episode of Mike and Carrie: God & Country, her new four-part weekly series in which she and husband Mike Fisher open up about their lives.
Fisher, 39, says that he and his wife of almost 10 years conceived pretty quickly each time they tried for a second child after welcoming son Isaiah Michael, now 5, but had the first two losses "months into" the pregnancies.
"Sometimes I think I'm guilty of expecting God to be a genie in a bottle, and it's not that," says the former professional ice hockey player. "And you're [asking], 'Why is this happening?' and you don't know why and sometimes you'll never figure out why."
An emotional Underwood recalls her husband coming to her at one point in their difficult journey and telling her, " 'We're gonna have another baby, and it's gonna be a boy. And his name's gonna be Jacob.' And I was like, 'Okay. And you know this because … ?' "
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Mike Fisher Recalls Emotional Moment Wife Carrie Underwood Told Him About Miscarriages: "Again?"
Fisher was "frustrated" after the first two miscarriages, and remembers the couple asking themselves, " 'What's the future look like? We don't know. Are we gonna adopt?' Going through things in your mind. I was wrestling [with it], and probably the most honest I've been with God in my life."
As for seeing Jacob in their future, he adds, "I just sensed that God told me that we're gonna have a son and his name's Jacob. Not much longer, we were pregnant and we lose another baby, and I remember [Carrie] coming to me … "
"I was like, 'Where is he? Where is he?' " Underwood finishes.
"So we get pregnant again … I think it was a Friday night. She's like, 'I lost the baby.' I was like, 'There's no way. Again?' I was like, 'Well, you don't know.' And [Carrie is] like, 'Yeah, I know,' " says Fisher.
Once they confirmed the sad news with their doctor, "I just remember not wanting to be by myself, so I went up to Isaiah's room and crawled into bed with him. I don't know how that kid didn't wake up, 'cause I was bawling," shares the American Idol season 4 champ.
After the third loss, Underwood "had an honest conversation with God," where she "told him how [she] felt" — namely, "hurt," "a little angry" and even "guilty for being mad at [her] creator."
"And I told him we needed something — we needed to have a baby or not, ever. Because I couldn't keep going down that road anymore," she recalls.
The next time she got pregnant, the singer says her nurse called to tell her "levels were not just where they were supposed to be, but through the roof, no doubt about it. All [looked] good." So when they went in to the doctor for an ultrasound later that day, "[We thought], 'It's all okay. Everything's okay.' So we were like, 'Jacob. This is Jacob.' "
Jacob Bryan was eventually born in January 2019. And his moniker wasn't one the couple had really considered before their difficult path toward a second child, but Fisher explains that they found significance in that the biblical Jacob "wrestled with God throughout he night and he wouldn't let him go until he got his blessing."
"Jeremiah 29:13 says, 'You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart,' " he says, tearing up. "It's so true. So many times, you're on the mountaintops and things are great … and sometimes, those are the hardest times, because you don't feel like you need God. But then you go through the valleys and you actually really seek Him and His will, and that's when you learn and grow. And he changes you — he [changed] our marriage for the better. We were able to work through our faith together like we'd never done before."
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