Dear Netflix, I know this isn’t typical, but neither was a format of mailing DVDs, and well, you know how that turned out. In between going to school and navigating the everyday pressures of teenage life, we beg of you to hire Sunny and Sadie Sandler to write a script for their dad Adam Sandler’s next movie. Sure, they’re only 14 and 16 respectively, but they both have acting experiences and their writing is off-the-charts hilarious.
The Hustle star took the stage at the 2022 Gotham Awards in New York City on Monday night to accept a performer tribute award, and he revealed that his teens, who he shares with wife Jackie Sandler, wrote his acceptance speech. We are in tears listening to their funny words.
“I’ve been too busy to write a speech, so I told my daughters Sadie and Sunny, who are 16 and 14, that I didn’t write a speech, and they said phrases like, ‘rude,’ and ‘you’re mean,’” he said while laughing. “And I said, ‘Well, Daddy’s f—ing tired, you know?’”
So his daughters asked to write his speech, and he said, “Absolutely, it’d be nice to see you do something other than watch YouTube or go to f—ing Lululemon every f—ing weekend.” They agreed to do the speech on one condition: that Sandler read it in “that goofy Southern accent you always do all your dumb speeches in?” and I’m dying. No one can roast Sandler like his kids!
The speech they wrote? Absolutely golden. “Thank you for giving our daddy, Mr. Adam Sandler, this prestigious, lifetime, all-time, prime-time, GOAT achievement tribute award,” it starts. “It means a lot to him seeing as most of the awards on his trophy shelf are shaped like popcorn buckets, blimps, or fake mini-Oscars that say ‘Father of the Year,’ which he sadly purchased himself while wandering in a self-pitying fog.”
The poor girls were also not allowed to be at the award show to hear the laughter from the audience themselves, because apparently their daddy said, “I don’t want to spend a whole night that’s supposed to be about me and my greatness, listening to you two newly pubertized buffoons screaming, ‘where is Timothée Chalamet?’” Ha! So true.
Although, they do have plans for the night that include “doing everything we’re not allowed to do when Daddy’s home.” Namely — “eat his Yodels or try on his Spanx or, dare we say, laugh out loud at Ben Stiller movies.”
The latter they have to do in private because, according to their speech, “The last time Daddy caught us chuckling away at the Meet The Parents trilogy, he immediately stormed into the room he calls, ‘The Screaming Room,’ which we just call, ‘the shower,’ and bellowed out the phrase, ‘only the Sandman makes people laugh, f— every other comedian!’”
His daughters are quite the comedians, with tons of natural talent. They both voiced several characters in the Hotel Transylvania series, appeared in Hubie Halloween, Murder Mystery, and Hustle among other projects.
So, Netflix, please consider this speech an audition tape for Sadie and Sunny. We would totally watch a movie penned by these two comedic geniuses!
Before you go, check out this list of Hollywood’s hottest dads.
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