Each holiday season practically demands that we fill our stockings with candy. With teeny-tiny beauty products. With trinkets that are fun, cute, and occasionally useful — but rarely worth coveting. What if—and hear me out on this one — we disregarded this age-old advice and went all in on sex toy stocking stuffers, instead?
Now, I’m not suggesting that you stick a full-blown rabbit vibrator into your stocking, or that you load up on the largest dildos you can find. (That said, if you feel compelled to do this, by all means, please do!) I’m merely pointing out that a lot of sex toys are conveniently stocking-sized — hell, some are pocket-sized. These toys could easily be concealed in a standard stocking. In fact, you could probably stuff a few in there.
Rest assured knowing virtually every sex toy on the market is available in a stocking-friendly variation. Want a miniature rabbit vibrator? You got it. Want a smaller take on the classic wand? Taken care of. Want a new clitoral vibrator, or a bullet vibrator, or one of those penetrative vibes that comes with a remote control? All of these (and more) are available in an appropriate size — and at a generally affordable price point, too.
So why limit yourself to nail polishes in shades you’ll never wear? Or candy you don’t really want to eat? Or picture frames that are too damn tiny to shove actual photos into anyway? There are too many fun-sized sex toys in this world for you to continue settling on these unnecessary baubles. You don’t have to forgo them entirely; treat yourself to the teeny-weeny stuff you actually want. Then, treat yourself to the teeny-weeny sex toys you actually want, too.
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Lovehoney Multi-Speed Micro Wand Vibrator
The now-iconic wand vibrator is a classic for a reason: It delivers penetrative and clitoral stimulation in equal measure. Unfortunately, most wands are far too big to slip into a stocking. But Lovehoney’s Micro Wand offers a smaller variation of the fan favorite.
Fin Finger Vibe
Finger vibes weren’t designed with stocking stuffing in mind, but given their universal small size, they might as well have been. In addition to being veritably stocking-friendly, the Fin Finger Vibe is perfect for beginners. Simply slip it onto your finger, and let the fun begin.
BASICS Spiral Butt Plug
If you and your partner have expressed interest in anal play, why not explore the gift of sexual experimentation this holiday season? Small enough to tuck away in your stocking (and pretty enough to display on your nightstand), the BASICS Spiral Butt Plug is a beginner-friendly toy worth adding to your collection — and now’s the perfect time to do it.
Sqweel Go Oral Sex Simulator
This pocket-sized clitoral stimulator is favorite — and with good reason. The Sqweel’s rotating wheel of “silicone tongues” is said to mimic oral sex. Pop it in a loved one’s stocking, or gift it to yourself. With a toy this popular, it’s hard to go wrong.
This nipple vibrator doubles as an incredibly chic necklace, making it one of the most versatile toys on the market. Available in silver, rose gold, or 24-karat yellow gold, the Crave Vesper will fit seamlessly into anyone’s wardrobe (and into anyone’s sex toy repertoire, too).
Happy Rabbit Cock Ring
If you’re looking for a toy that will delight you and your partner in equal measure, you’ve found it with the Happy Rabbit Cock Ring. The rabbit-shaped attachment will stimulate you while the double ring stimulates your partner. (So you can give your partner a gift while giving yourself one, too.)
Je Joue Classic Bullet Vibe
Bullet vibrators don’t just make excellent starter sex toys — they make excellent stocking stuffers, too. Straightforward enough to be used by anyone and small enough to slip into even the tiniest of stockings, the Je Joue Classic Bullet Vibe is perfect to gift to just about anyone. (Plus, it comes in a delightful shade of aqua!)
Silicone Remote Venus Butterfly
The Silicone Remote Venus Butterfly panty vibrator straps into a harness for truly versatile wearability. (Most panty vibrators are designed to slip directly into your underwear. Convenient — but it does require that you keep your undies on the whole time you want to enjoy the toy.) Slip the vibrator into your stocking and toss the remote control into your partner’s — then get ready for a seriously fun night.
Amour Remote Control Love Egg Vibrator
In addition to being incredibly adorable, the Amour Love Egg is a worthwhile addition to any sex toy collection. The remote control lends itself particularly well to couples’ play, but it works just as well for a hands-free solo sesh.
The Eva II is much-beloved in the sex toy industry. Designed for women by women, the Eva II is small enough to discreetly slip over the clitoris during intercourse. (Needless to say, it’s small enough to discreetly slip into a stocking, too.)
Lovehoney Bed Ring Double Cock Ring
Where many cock rings come with bulky attachments, the Lovehoney Bed Ring keeps things sleek and subtle (without sacrificing any of the pleasure). Slip it into your loved one’s stocking or slide it into your own—it’s a gift for both of you, after all.
Womanizer Liberty Clitoral Stimulator
The Womanizer is one of the most widely adored toys in the sex toy industry. Its Pleasure Air Technology takes things a step beyong standard vibration and suction, simulating oral sex through pulsating air, instead. This smaller variation is particularly discreet—and stocking-friendly.
Vibrating Snug Plugs
Given the variation in their size and color, Snug Plugs are an excellent gift for beginners and experts, alike. Beginners will want to opt for the smaller size, whereas advanced players may prefer the larger one. (Of course, you can always gift yourself—or a loved one—both, and prepare for some serious experimental fun.)
Lovehoney Tongue Tickler Finger Vibrator
The Lovehoney Tongue Tickler may look like a truly vibrant piece of statement jewelry, but it’s actually a finger vibrator with a bullet vibrator concealed inside. Fun fact: You can actually remove the bullet vibrator at your discretion, so the Lovehoney Tongue Tickler basically offers you the chance to buy two toys for the price of one.
In addition to boasting rumbling vibrations and a flexible tail, the We-Vibe Jive offers a high-tech spin on sex. Connect your Jive to the We-Vibe app to enable remote controlled play. (And don’t fret — if the high-tech thing isn’t for you, you can use the toy as a standard vibrator. No app required.)
BlueMotion Nex 1 Gen 2
The BlueMotion Nex 1 Gen 2 is no ordinary panty vibrator. Hook it up to the OhMiBod Remote app to enable remote-controlled (or rather, app-controlled play). The coolest part? Your partner can hook their phone up to the toy and control it from anywhere in the world — making it an especially apt stocking stuffer for those navigating long-distance relationships.
Happy Rabbit Mini Ears Clitoral Vibrator
Rabbit vibrators deliver dynamic stimulation better than just about any other genre of sex toy. And while many of them are far too large to be considered stocking-friendly, this smaller variation is the perfect size to tuck away in a stocking.
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