JILL Duggar has shared her candid reactions to her brother's abuse and the pressure her parents put on her to do damage control.
In a new interview, she reflected on the "burden" she felt to help her family retain their TV show after the scandal and even laughed about the "umbrellas of authority" that made her so obedient to her father.
Jill's emotional admissions came in the new docu-series Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets, which premiered today on Amazon Prime.
Sitting next to her husband, Derick Dillard, she shared her regret about appearing on The Megyn Kelly Show after news broke in 2015 that her eldest brother, Josh, had molested her as a child.
She and Jessa, identifying themselves as two of Josh's victims, went on prime time to downplay the abuse and defend Josh — something she now says was at her parents' urging.
"In hindsight, I wouldn’t have done the Megyn Kelly stuff," said the former Counting On star, 32.
"I felt like I was in a place of, again, bearing the burden and the weight," she said, breaking down in tears.
"Even though you volunteer, you feel obligated to help."
As she spoke, Jill's body language showed both sadness and anger over the ordeal, according to expert Patti Wood, author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma.
"The strain in her voice, it indicates how tight her vocal cords are and how difficult it is for her to even breathe," Wood told The U.S. Sun.
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"That strained, rough voice… I know how much she's holding in and how strained and stressed she is.
"She's had to hold it in for years and years and years. And so we're hearing it in her voice and seeing it in the rest of her nonverbal cues.
"And that's not uncommon … to hear and see tightness as somebody discusses past abuse that's been held for a long time."
Wood described Jill as being "overcome with emotion" in the clip, noting how she looked down, blinked, and looked away, with sadness coming across her face that she then shook off.
"She then pressed her lips together, and the expression around her mouth is anger, and it shows all the way up to the eyes," she said before describing how Jill clicked her tongue to "clear out the anger" and returned to sadness.
In the interview, Derick said that speaking to Megyn Kelly was not "voluntary" and that Jill and her sister Jessa had been "called on to carry out a suicide mission."
He said: "You’re gonna destroy yourself, but we need you to take the fall so we can move the show forward because the show cannot fail, and they were gonna do whatever they could to get the return on their investment.
"If that meant collateral damage, that meant collateral damage."
But after the interview, 19 Kids and Counting was still canceled — and Jill recalled realizing: "It didn’t save everything. It wasn’t enough."
"She's just so angry," said Wood. "But then it collapses down.
"You see a mix of emotions on her face, just a mix of anger and betrayal."
Though Jill discussed being pressured to help salvage the show, she broke down in tears when asked about the abuse, saying she didn't want to talk about it.
"She has not gotten over it. She's still experiencing some of the trauma and the fear," Wood explained.
But there is something she appears to have gotten over: Her beliefs in the patriarchal power structures promoted by her parents and her old religious group, the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP).
In the docu-series, the couple recalled feeling like they couldn't say no to returning to reality TV.
"Jim Bob’s clawing to get the show back as quick as possible," said Derick.
Jill chimed in: "You’re having all these talks about the promo shoot coming up. You’re being pressured to come back.
"I didn’t want to, but at the same time, I never said no to my family before.
"It’s this whole 'umbrellas of authority' thing that was ingrained in me," she added.
In IBLP's teachings, children fall under the authority of the parents, the wife is under the authority if the husband, and the husband is under the authority of pastors and Jesus.
"I felt like [if] I said no, I’m not obeying my parents and bad things are gonna happen to me," Jill recalled.
"As she says 'umbrellas of authority,' she laughs," observed Wood.
"Laughter can reveal so many different emotions.
"But part of what she's expressing here is a code nonverbally of, ‘I'm supposed to take those authorities very seriously and obey them, and I can't anymore.
"So to indicate that lack of respect and seriousness, I'm going to laugh."
Wood said that Jill "laughing at levels of authority" is a "big reveal."
"It reveals nonverbally that she was threatened. And the threat might have been, you know, Satan's going to take you. You're going to hell. But she was threatened.
"And she believed it. And now she knows that's not true.
"So it shows how she feels about it now, but the way she's doing it shows a little bit of the stress of what it was before.
"I think more than anything else I've analyzed, this, to me is the most stunning. It shows where she is."
Though the interview captures plenty of negative emotions, Wood noted one positive bit of insight she was able to glean from the sit-down.
She said Jill and Derick show that they’re "strong and unified as a couple" and that "he is still providing security for her."
"She's sort of cradled back underneath his arm. And that's a security position for the woman in a male-female couple," she said.
At one point, Derick moved one of this legs over toward Jill "to protect her," while she held her leg up against his "to draw comfort and protection."
And in their hand-holding — his on the bottom, facing up to hold hers— Jill is asking for support and Derick is giving it.
"He's supporting, and their fingers are all relaxed and intertwined.
"She’s got his thumb secure on her thumb, but there's no tightness. That tells me that the handhold is close and supportive. It's a healthy relationship."
But Wood stressed that Derick was giving her comfort — not strength.
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"She's a strong woman all on her own. But what they're showing is, 'We are strong together as a couple. We are a unit.'"
There are more revelations to come, as Jill and Derick announced on Wednesday that they will be publishing a memoir, Counting the Cost, in January 2024.
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