WOMEN get four and a half hours of leisure time a week less than men, research shows. The “free time” they do get is eaten up by housework, list-making and planning.
When it comes to unpaid chores at home, the Office for National Statistics found that women do almost 40 per cent more than men.
And author Annie Auerbach believes that as traditional roles for couples have changed, women face more of an uphill battle with extra pressure to be perfect at home and at work.
It can be exhausting, she says. But she offers solutions in her book Flex: The Modern Woman’s Handbook.
She explains: “When you ‘flex’, you learn to look at the patterns of your relationships and work out how to make changes according to your family’s individual needs.
“We need to take a look within and ask, ‘How can I work to the best of my abilities at work, while being the mum or partner or friend I want to be at home?’”
Here, Natasha Harding shares her top tips for “flexing your home”.
MAKE A LIST
Write down all the chores that are done in the home. Be awe-inspired at the amount you currently do. Be shocked at how little anyone else is doing.
DIVIDE AND RULE
Allocate some time with your partner to discuss who does what and to share out the workload. You could start by working through each room and noting jobs associated with that room.
You could then think in terms of tasks that are daily (cooking, cleaning, childcare); weekly (food shop, scheduling play dates), and yearly (purchasing insurance, the car’s MOT).
It is not about a 50/50 divide. It is about being happy with your lot.
NEGOTIATE
Be sensitive. This conversation may be fraught. A good approach would be to appreciate and acknowledge what each of you is doing before explaining what you would like help with. Then barter.
You may hate doing the laundry but not mind doing the Hoovering. Could you use that as a bargaining tool?
ROLE MODELS
Model good behaviour for your children so they do not just associate women with the home and men with work. For example, men can pack for the holidays, women can take the bins out.
LET GO
Do not micro-manage the to-do list, or feel like you need to beg for help each time something needs doing. Encourage your partner to take responsibility for a whole task area.
For example, whoever is in charge of school shoes needs to know the kids’ shoe sizes and when to buy new ones.
THINK FUTURE
Discuss a longer-term vision of the lives you want to live and work out priorities within that.
If you want the right amount of time to focus on your career, is there an opportunity for you to do that while your partner’s career takes a back seat for a set period of time?
- Flex by Annie Auerbach (HQ, £9.99) is out now
How scantily-clad cleaners Ruby Day and Rose Kelly earn thousands revealing tidying tips in YouTube videos
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