How to overcome loneliness this Christmas – from volunteering to social media and exercise

FOR most of us Christmas is the time of year to catch up with friends and family and enjoy far too much wine and food.

But for others it can be the loneliest time of the year.

Loneliness can leave you feeling down, moody and isolated  – not the feelings associated with the festive season.

Not only that, it can have a pretty detrimental effect on your physical health.

Abie Taylor-Spencer, a mental health expert, told The Sun Online: "One of the reasons loneliness is so bad for us is that it makes it harder for us to control our habits and behaviour.

"Tests by US psychologists showed that the expectation of isolation reduces our willpower and perseverance and makes it harder to regulate our behaviour.

"Lonely middle-aged adults drink more alcohol, have unhealthier diets and partake in less exercise than the socially contented."

Other research has found that people who are lonely feel more stressed and are more likely to withdraw from social activities, Abie said.

"Finally, tests have shown that loneliness can affect the immune and cardiovascular systems placing individuals at risk of health problems.

"A proven consequence of isolation for physiological resilience and recovery has been linked to the basic human need for sleep – lonely people experience more difficulties sleeping and sleep deprivation is known to have the same effects on metabolic, neural and hormonal regulation as ageing.

YOU'RE NOT ALONE

It doesn't discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.

It's the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes. And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.

Yet, it's rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.

That is why The Sun has launched the You're Not Alone campaign. To remind anyone facing a tough time, grappling with mental illness or feeling like there's nowhere left to turn, that there is hope.

The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.

Let's all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others. You're Not Alone.

For a list of support services available, please see the Where To Get Help box below.

"Lonely people are more likely to suffer from more depressive symptoms as they have been reported to be less happy, less satisfied and more pessimistic.

"Research on suicide has revealed that there is a strong association between suicide ideation, parasuicide and loneliness, meaning that the prevalence of suicide ideation rises with the degree of loneliness.

"It has also been found that loneliness puts individuals at greater risk of cognitive decline and have a 64 per cent increased chance of developing clinical dementia."

How to overcome loneliness…

According to the mental health foundation survey in 2010 which was carried out on 2,256 people, four in ten of us have felt depressed as we felt alone – a statistic which is higher among women.

One in ten of us have sought help for feeling lonely whereas one in three of us would be embarrassed to admit to feeling lonely.

1. Use social media

Social media is a great way to reach out to people, whether it's a meet up group or someone you meet in a community group.

"Everyday modern technology can help reduce isolation as it can facilitate and strengthen relationships," Abie said.

"For those individuals who use the internet there are opportunities to use social networking to connect with those who may not be living close to you but also to research local community events, social groups and networking opportunities.

"Some psychologists suggest that one guaranteed way to make a friend is to join a group that has a shared purpose and eventually you will make a friend.

"While this may be difficult for people who are lonely, but research has shown that it can really help."

2. Exercise more

Exercises classes are a great way to meet people, but even a workout on your own can make you feel better.

"Physical activity of any kind will stimulate your brain and body to produce feel-good hormones that help you to feel better and more in control," Abie, of Smart TMS said.

"Whatever you choose, do something to get your mind and body active such as walking, riding a bike or taking up a fun activity.

"Don’t stress if it takes a little while to see a positive change in your mindset – take small steps that will change your behaviour over time."

If you don't think that will work for you Abie suggests you try Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS).

It's a NICE approved, non-invasive treatment that uses pulses of magnetic energy to stimulate areas of the brain known be under-active in patients with depression.

3. Try volunteering

Volunteers are always needed over the Christmas period and it's a great way to meet people and feel good about yourself.

"Studies reveal that people who are engaged in services such as volunteering tend to be happier," Abie added.

"Volunteering helps to reduce loneliness due to its social components so someone who is suffering from being lonely might benefit from helping others.

"Being involved in a scheme where they receive support and help to build their own social network will really help too."

WHERE TO GET HELP

If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:

  • Beat, www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk, 0808 801 0667
  • CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858
  • Heads Together, www.headstogether.org.uk
  • Hector's House, www.hectorshouse.org.uk
  • Mind, www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393
  • Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41
  • Samaritans, www.samaritans.org, 116 123

4. Don't be ashamed to seek help

There's absolutely nothing wrong with admitting you need a little help coping, especially during this time of year when everyone else seems to be at their happiest.

"Clinical psychologists and psychiatrists can help people who feel lonely by addressing emotional issues that make it hard for them to form relationships or that reinforce their sense of isolation," Abie said.

"Talking therapies can help people to develop self-acceptance, making it easier for them to relate to others.

"However, it is suggested that no one technique works for all. Some may need to feel listened to, whereas others need to work through why they feel they have been abandoned.

"Cognitive therapy could help to overcome that fear by identifying and challenging dysfunctional thinking, behaviour and emotional responses.

"Ultimately, cognitive therapy helps people to overcome difficulties."



 

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